I’ve been thinking about attempting to publish some essays I’ve written on the experience.  If anyone has any  suggestions where and how to attempt this I’d be grateful. 

I hadn’t thought of editorials. 

All the best,

ADSJ

Str8guy
Thanks for your post. A lot of good resources there.

All the best. 

ADSJ

“‘’Honesty’ without compassion and understanding is not honest, but subtle hostility”. Rose N. Franzblau

AnotherSS,
I think this quote summarizes what you are experiencing.  Others suffer in the name of the GIDXs “honesty“.  I may write more later, but your story is very similar to mine. My ex wanted to date, so she could be sure.  I let her, but in my case it took only a few weeks to realize she was beyond any path of return.  She came out on Pearl Harbot Day 2013 and I decided on divorce by mid January 2014.  She also attempted a reconciliation after 16 months of separation and a few weeks before filing our settlement.  And just last year, 2018, four and half years
out, she tells me she felt the divorce was a mistake. 

She misses the family life as did I.  Deconstructing my family was very painful.  But she can’t have her cake and eat it too.

I am since remarried and blending a new family.  Even now my current wife observed that my ex consistently makes an attention grabber about every two months with a non-existent concern with one of the kids. 

I tell you all of this because you asked for advice, so here it is. 
1) She is gay but she is conflicted between family and her desires. She also used you for safety all these years and her return is a manifestation of her fear to go it alone. 
2) The marriage you thought you had is over, a new one will take ENORMOUS negotiation and reciprocity to survive at any level. (By reciprocity , I’m not talking about her giving you an opportunity to have lovers, I’m talking about taking your needs into account).   I doubt that is possible because of her dating behavior. Her actions early on only served her purposes, not your need for fidelity.
3) if you decide to leave, you will have to lead this exit. 
4) If you leave, do some homework with an attorney to prepare for discussions with your ex, consider mediation to keep things civil and balanced.  Learn as much as you can about the laws in your sta

In my daily meditation for the day I came upon a profound quote in dealing with growth and transformation...

“We must embrace the absurd and go beyond everything we have ever known” - Janie Gustafson

Just saying that out loud is empowering: this  journey has been filed with absurdity for each of us - denial, trauma, cognitive dissonance in attempting to reconcile the past with the truth, the societal silencing of the straight spouse experience, etc., and then even in my experience the dissonance and absurdity  that my daughter is essentially exposed to lesbian culture 50%  of her childhood and how or if that will affect her view of men and relationships in adulthood. 

Just acknowledging that it is absurd, helps to face it and move on to decide what I’m going to do about it. 

To all here, I wish you the ability to accept the absurdity as you move on to a better life...

All the best,


ADSJ

For what it’s worth, both my ex and a long time classmate/colleague who came out the same time as my ex, had communicated   fantasies of group sex when I first met each of  them ( I did not meet each of them at exactly the same point in time in my life). In hindsight, I now assume they may have viewed that as a legitimate, acceptable means of engaging in same sex activity.

Just a thought.

All the best,

ADSJ