I'm always tired. I'm also still actively struggling with sadness and depression. Depression doesn't always show up the way you think it does though, MJ, so I wouldn't rule it out even if you wouldn't classify it as depression yourself. Sometimes fatigue is a symptom even when you would say your mood is 'normal'.

I relate to how you're feeling in some ways. Even though my situation isn't as actively in my face anymore, I still grieve. It hurts. I cry. I have a normal day. Or two. Maybe a week if I'm lucky. I remember something new. I get angry. I cry again. Processing just takes time and energy. I don't have much to spare for others, especially when I view people's motives as suspect now.

I can't be bothered to use my limited energy on figuring out who deserves the benefit of the doubt anymore. I'd rather focus internally. I assume that may change at some point. It may not. I stopped trying to force myself to be more social a couple months ago. I show up for the people who show up for me. Anything more ambitious will have to wait. I don't think I will (or want to) love anyone again but I still think I can have a good life. It's just different than what I hoped for and I'm grieving for that as much as the loss of the person I loved because of this sad mess of an experience.

Anyway, if your fatigue persists you might still talk to a doctor about it. Depression is a sneaky beast. Good thoughts headed your way!

Thanks for your response, W. I’ll return to the doctor after the holidays to talk about it if it’s still an issue. 

I would like a new relationship with a man at some point but hard to say if it will happen ever. I want to run if a man I feel attracted to speaks to me. I believe these guys are being polite/friendly- no flirting.

It’s hard to trust my own perceptions. I thought late GIDXH was straight. Will the next one be in the closet too?  There are issues if they’re 100% straight- will they ghost me, be a cheater, want an open relationship out of the blue?  Ahhh, too much can go wrong.

I feel like a different person than before. W, it’s as you said. I’m adjusting to this new reality & it’s not what I wanted or hoped for either.  It’s not fair for any of us.

ADSJ, I’m glad that things are settling down & you feel calmer. Thanks for sharing how long it took. That makes perfect sense.

Hope you both have an enjoyable weekend ahead!!