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Support » Bisexual Wife Not Willing To Commit To Continuing Our Marriage » Today 5:58 pm |
"I'm sure from this list you would think infidelity occurred. I'm not oblivious to that fact, but what I can say is that I have no hard evidence to prove otherwise. "
It's like my sculpture, David. He wasn't the first one to come down. At the time there was nowhere in my lexicon that could encompass the idea that it was a deliberate act of sabotage. It wasn't til after I was divorced that I was able to wonder if it was. There is no evidence. But now that I've thought of it, it makes sense to me. At the time, I mean there they are in a closed room and overnight they fall down? ?? Inevitably I blamed myself, I must have done something wrong in the building. And the first one yes, I had finished at the ankles before finishing up above and it had cracked I'd had to mend at the ankles several times so you know I could easily imagine it breaking again in the shifting that happens as the clay dries. But the second one? solid as a rock I thought. it bothered me I could see no reason for it to happen but you know the last one, David, he was well there was just no way he was coming down. So when I go in that morning and see him on the ground it put a real dint in my confidence - now I can only think my assessment was correct, he really was that strong, it must have taken a real shove to knock him down. No evidence.
Sorry Lost, but when you say she disclosed during a second adolescence that sounds like a red flag for an affair to me - one that has hit her emotionally - enough to make her think.
Me I think fantasy matters, it's like its the bridge between physical and emotional - I only want to have sex with a man who fantasises about having sex with me as much as I do with him.
General Discussion » Witchcraft, Novels, and more!!! » Today 3:35 pm |
Oh goodness. sorry to hear about your brother's cancer, that must be awful.
It sounds to me like you need to get to that divorce as quick as you can.
wishing you all the best, I am close to my brother, he too is facing a cancer issue, hopefully not too serious but it's enough to give me the idea of how much I would miss him if he died first. wishing you all the best.
General Discussion » Witchcraft, Novels, and more!!! » Today 12:38 pm |
HeldHostageInHerCloset wrote:
..... If I can't trust her, I don't need her.....
That is a revealing statement. You have so much going on at the moment. Concentrating on your brother sounds like the better choice.
What is holding you hostage in her closet?
And what has your wife got to do with your brother removing you as a beneficiary?
Elle
General Discussion » Witchcraft, Novels, and more!!! » Today 11:37 am |
When I got to the hospital, my brother was awake and doing ok, but was going thru accounts removing me as a beneficiary because of her.
General Discussion » Witchcraft, Novels, and more!!! » Today 11:36 am |
This week has been one of those, where I was just ready to dump everything on her... may still.
Brother has been sick dealing with cancer. He goes to 2 different clinics in different cities. He told me last week one told him to call in Hospice, but the other was still looking for trials. Tuesday he goes to the ER, ends up admitted to ICU, Wed wake up to my mom calling saying they were trying to stablize him that he was losing a lot of blood. So I jolt out of bed, grab some stuff and I'm out the door (live 2 hours away). He's stable now, seems it was an ulcer that's been "fixed", but still in ICU...
Anyway, I'd not told her anything about him in maybe months, she didn't go to christmas with us, so she didn't know about his more recent decline. So basically just running out the door saying my brother might be dying.
Just hoping she asks why I've not said anything. If I can't trust her, I don't need her. What value is the sympathy of a liar? Got back home last night, she was gone. Out late again. Both been home all morning, not a word spoken yet.
Local Pride month kick-off parties start this weekend. Our 20th anniv is in a couple weeks. Fun days ahead.
Support » Bisexual Wife Not Willing To Commit To Continuing Our Marriage » Today 9:33 am |
lily wrote:
Hi Lost, thanks for your reply. Genuinely cordial is how it feels to me.
So in response, I'm a little at a disadvantage in this exchange because you are still married and I don't want to make it difficult or hurt your feelings. But I shall do my best to hold my end up and just hope you realise you have my respect.
When did your wife disclose to you? while you were dating? did you ask her or did she volunteer it?
I agree about the betrayal trauma like I say in my previous post, that is the same for anyone. But it's ironic isn't it, for the bisexual spouse they are feeling the hurt they have also been inflicting.
The next part of my comment was about the relationship before disclosures have happened at all - in one marriage they are both being disingenuous in the other there is a straight who does not realise how far the ground has been shifted from under their feet.
But we are nothing if not resilient. in my 40's I started to pull myself back together when I picked up my clay and just went for it, I was building 3ft terracotta statues!
I wish I'd gotten away from him first. There was one sculpture - named David of course - that was just perfect. The balance was completely solid, he was dry and I was getting ready to fire him, unaccountably he fell down in the night. I fired the bits, I have his torso head and arms coming out of the ground by the back gate where I live now.
For context, I've been married for 20 years, she disclosed last year during a time where she was having a second adolescence. Our marriage had a rough patch right around covid, and we did couples therapy and our marriage was stronger than ever up till last year. Then I was blindsided by this revelation and her pursuit of other women.
Other things to note; there were plenty of signs over the years. The lesbian shows and sapphic novels. The lack of interest in men around her or out in the world.
Support » Not going back to sleep » Today 5:55 am |
Plan your exit. Discretely and silently. No, you are not a bad person.
We all need a safe place.
They project their crap onto us. My cheating GX screamed at me how I cheated also..with such conviction I had to think if I did..I knew no woman. It was insanity.
Plan your exit..discretely sliently. Even it takes a dollar a day for the rest of your life.
The wheel of God grind slowly,but they grind incredibly fine.
Wishing you strength and stoicism.
Support » I never thought I would be here » Today 5:50 am |
Sending a sincere e-hug. Cause I know these spouses do not give them..not the sincere kind.
Read the first aid kit and breath. You did nothing wrong and should feel no shame. You gave fierce absolute love. He gave ???
Wishing you strength and stoic self love.
Support » Bisexual Wife Not Willing To Commit To Continuing Our Marriage » Today 5:25 am |
David,
So sorry your living the horribleness of TGT.. are they meeting a friend for a drink and to catch up..or is it a date? Are they shopping or having sex? Why should you have to wonder?
To me it doesn't matter if they are gay, bi, green alien. It's a matter of trust and fierce loyalty. The anxiety we experience sure isn't that or love. The anxiety can eat you up ..I needed medication.
In regards to your "she holds all the cards" statement..I can relate..I could not get over how my GX thought herself a god, in full control of everything. They are not..maybe the marriage but not us or the world. The world should revolve around them but they are forfeiting that the moment they hurt us.
Next time she tells you about her "little voice".. ask her what she wants you to do with that. Are you suppose to cry and say thank you for not acting on it and honoring the basic agreement of our marriage? Tell her she is hurting you. Why does she feel its ok to hurt you...
Wishing strength and stoic self love.
General Discussion » Witchcraft, Novels, and more!!! » Today 5:05 am |
Held,
Congrats on your daughter graduating! You should be proud.
I attended my kids graduation also and had to interact with my GX. No issues and only had a few shakes. But I would do anything for my kids including face her.
Is sounds like your kids are taking care of themselves anyway 50% of the time...so I would think it wont change much if you separate.
PS. It took me sometime to go back to the bed from my safe spot even after she left. It seems so silly when I look back but I remind self it was a witches den.
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