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This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. The results from SSN’s Annual Summer Donation Drive are in! Together with your help, SSN raised $16,381 during our annual Summer Donation Drive! That’s 109% of our goal! Learn more about how the funds will be utilized.

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Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.


Happy New Year, Friends!

Our year-end fundraising campaign is officially complete and with your generous help we raised $13,813 to serve straight spouses in need. From all of us at SSN, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.

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General Discussion » What about fake love? » Today 5:48 am

longwayhome
Replies: 0

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It’s difficult enough describing true love, but what about fake love?

Worth the read, its a good reminder:  https://www.lifeadvancer.com/fake-love/ 

General Discussion » I can't share this with anyone but my online straightspouse friends » Today 4:54 am

Ellexoh_nz
Replies: 1

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Ellexoh_nz wrote:

My partner and I have his niece and he her baby coming round to visit tomorrow and tonight, as he came down the stairs I said
" tomorrow morning I'll have to dig out some toys (without saying why)
The look on his face...a mixture of confusion and something else and I quickly said " not that kind of toy "

LOL

He must've thought he'd gone back in time

 
Edited to say., we used to have a bag of toys (sexual) y'know...a vibe, a huge cock etc and when I rebelled against the open r'ship he said he'd thrown them all out (but who's knows if he did right?)
But I didn't even click that he might think I meant sexual toys until I'd said it and seen his reaction. I'm still inwardly smiling

Elle

General Discussion » I can't share this with anyone but my online straightspouse friends » Today 3:02 am

Ellexoh_nz
Replies: 1

Go to post

My partner and I have his niece and he her baby coming round to visit tomorrow and tonight, as he came down the stairs I said
" tomorrow morning I'll have to dig out some toys (without saying why)
The look on his face...a mixture of confusion and something else and I quickly said " not that kind of toy "

LOL

He must've thought he'd gone back in time

Support » Pride month? » Today 12:27 am

Soaplife
Replies: 16

Go to post

Two of my young adult children happened to be at a Pride event and saw their gay dad - whom neither choose to have contact with at the moment -  carruing on and holding up the letter P sign on the stage. As they commented wryly "showing off and wanting to be the centre of attention as usual". Bad character and shitty parenting are not cis monopolies.

Support » Fiancé Believes He’s Transgender » Today 12:13 am

Soaplife
Replies: 5

Go to post

Please please end it now. You want to marry a man - he wants to be a woman.  You must see there is no happy ending there. He IS NOT the man you thought you were engaged to.

At the very least he needs to work out who he is before entering into the serious permanent commitment of marriage. The $$ you lose and the temporary public awkwardness of breaking it off are nothing compared to what you will suffer if you go ahead and marry.

I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. But please take the opportunity he has given you and back out now.

Support » New and need support » Yesterday 11:59 pm

Soaplife
Replies: 12

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Strong girl, its a horrible time for you.  Cheating is such a huge betrayal. I would observe that his infidelity and lack of honesty is not a good sign.  Cheating is a character problem not a sexuality problem. If you both agreed to a monogamous relationship he has broken that agreement unilaterally without permission.

The most important question for you is: is this acceptable to you?  It wasn't acceptable to you in your first marriage - and now you have a child to consider so it is even more important to model your high standards and act for you and your child's future safety and wellbeing. 

You have not failed or broken anything - he has. Wishing you strength and clear sight in the weeks and months ahead. Oh - and consult a lawyer. Very important to protect your financial future.

Support » New and need support » Yesterday 10:45 pm

Daryl
Replies: 12

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You wouldn't be the first person here who felt they had to try something before throwing in the proverbial towel. I would probably have been the same if the option was there. It sounds like you do have your eyes wide open. I would offer one more thought. Remember that your needs are just as important as his are.

Support » New and need support » Yesterday 9:26 pm

Rob
Replies: 12

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Strong girl,

"Failed" is a strong and negative word.
Like others said you did not fail.  You loved fiercely and honestly..he did not.

I also take issue with another negative phase "broken home" from other threads.
The only thing broken is these spouses.

Best wishes on deciding..I have no idea how to rebuild trust..my thought was my GX would have had to cut all contact with her girlfriend, let me read her text etc. There would need to be clear proofs would never happen with my GX.

Support » New and need support » Yesterday 7:31 pm

Qwerty
Replies: 12

Go to post

Lots of great support here. You have come to the right place. I recommend that you both take counselling on your own first. You both have things to work through and once things are more stable then do the couple counselling. But up to you ofcourse. I am 3 months out of d day and my partner and I are still doing our own sessions. She has agreed to counselling once I am ready for it. Take it one day at a time.

Support » New and need support » Yesterday 6:16 pm

Lynne
Replies: 12

Go to post

It does do something to our "spirit" for sure.  It's not that we were just betrayed, but they leave us feeling humiliated.  That's been a rough one for me to recover from and I'm sure for many of us.   But when we first find out we do need to go through the process of understanding what makes them tick at a deep human level. 

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