Thank you for the reply.

Re: sounding like a really solid guy.  Thank you.  What I've written is a true account of how I feel this situation has gone down.  I do understand that everbody is the hero in their own story and I'm sure I've left out some things that make me look not so good and oversold some of my strengths.  I'd say this is the somewhat sugar coated truth and I'm probably 75% as virtuous as I sound in my telling.  That's not bad and I'll accept that.

Re: counseling and therapy.  I saw a counselor for some time over the past year while we were figuring out what we were going to do and he helped me a lot.  When Mary and I were really officially done I went in for just a few more sessions but he and I agreed that I could probably take it from here and that I didn't really need to see him any more.  So I guess I 'graduated'.  At this point I'm thinking it might be good for me to have somebody to help me process more but I don't think it's really necessary and with the cost of breakups these days I don't need the financial stress.

Onward,

I forgot to mention.  Andrea and Mary were a long distance relationship.  They lived about 8 hours apart.  This played a significant role in the logistics of this story.  If they lived an hour apart this would have all happened last fall I believe.

From just about the day they met I understood that if Mary could leave me and be with Andrea she would do that.  I'm certain I knew that before they did.  This hurt me deeply.  I remember saying "I'm your second choice but your best option" and I still believe that at that time that was true.  They could not be together because Andrea was not willing to even discuss ending her relationship with her person.  If Mary could not be with Andrea then leaving me would just leave her alone and stuck with all the difficulties, emotional, spiritual and financial that come with that, so that was not something she was ready to do.  Mary and I tried and I believe that