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General Discussion » Don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated. » Today 12:10 pm

Shh0406:  You haven't caught him?  Yes, you have.  

"When i found grindr on his phone i knew he wasn't straight but he still denied it. I found only fans with men's paid subscriptions and pictures he sent to men and receivedfrom men. "

That's your proof right there.  He's cheating.

Also: he's not going to admit it, ever.  He will take it to his grave.  The longer you stay with him, the worse the injury will be for you.  

General Discussion » Karma » Today 5:27 am

Replies: 4

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What line of work are you in?

Support » My world is falling apart while he says he is so happy and light now. » Yesterday 7:47 pm

Replies: 9

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Elle - *giant virtual hugs*

The divorce process is pure and utter hell. Here I thought getting abandoned sucked...but now I have to prove to the court why I shouldn't have to pay HIM for dumping me. His latest claim is that I made him spend money, so he shouldn't be responsible for a chunk of the marital debt *eye roll*

Funny how suddenly everything is my fault. And how he went on and on about being "fair" in this process....and now he's fighting everything we have talked about. Honestly, this entire process is just exhausting. I don't even like conflict at the best of times. I'm trying not to take the vitriol and hate personally...but it wears a person down.

Good luck! If you need to commiserate or find the silver linings, feel free to reach out. My silver lining for today is I found out the infection in my jaw has finally cleared and the bone graft is taking! And I got all the stitches out. So I got to eat something that wasn't mush for supper! Rocking this adulting thing

Support » Betrayal Trauma, Narcissism, and Bi(?) Husband...so many layers. » Yesterday 7:43 pm

Replies: 15

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Gwendolyn, I'm so happy for you that you have made your decision(s) and are seeing the light! It gives me hope!

Our Full Therapeutic Disclosure was a few days after my first post, and it was just as horrible as it sounds, and pretty much solidifies the fact that my husband is not-straight. (He even got the 2-part Mpox Vaccine last year...even though he was gaslighting me, telling me I was silly for being concerned that just going to the steam rooms/sauna at the gym might pass on the virus to him -the gym was in a gay neighborhood; I had no clue at that point that he had been cheating.)

He has moved out for a Therapeutic Separation, which may or may not become more permanent.  We told the kids (at the suggestion of out MC) that "we're just trying this thing because mom and dad need to re-start their relationship", etc etc, just to keep them from freaking out - two of them are far away for college and I don't want them dealing with heavy family stuff without a good support system in place. 

I have been to a few meetings of married folk who have stayed with their gay/questioning spouses despite the betrayals, etc. and while the betrayed spouses seem mostly fine, stable, etc, they are just kind of staying to maintain the house, family, etc. and the partner love...isn't there. Kinda depressing tbh. 

Lastly - any advice on telling the teen kids? I may start a new thread if I can't find anything already posted on this forum. In the deep recesses of my brain.... I kinda want my kids to know. Not ALL the details, but ... I kind of need them to know IT AIN'T MOMMA'S FAULT. Probably not healthy to feel that way. I'm SO TIRED of covering up this horror that I've been living. (I have only told two close friends.) Thanks all.... 

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