Someone asked about gay music and some named Madonna and other names as example so I honestly did not think specifically Prince and Grey's Anatomy will be taken differently. I was not intend to profile anything at all. When I searched a lot about my GH a while ago, I read some article that saying some TV shows as signs or the entry to a gay world. I should've educated myself first. I'm sorry, hope you understand my true intention.

I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable..

Wow...I couldn't resist commenting on your subject it is SO familiar with something I'm going through right now. Unfortunately I don't personally have any helpful answers yet because I'm still in the middle of it all struggling with what kind of boundaries or agreement I need to set between me and my soon-to-be EGH. He does mostly the same thing when they're around my kids, 7 year old son & 6 year old daughter.

He continuously lied and betrayed me and never really think it was such a bad thing and he always talked to me as if I was the problem, I was the cause of all these stress he was experiencing blah blah blah. I'm sure you've been treated something similar as mine too.

I wanted to shift this marriage relationship to the reliable & trustworthy friendship so that will make things easier to communicate and support each other on being a good parents for our kids. We talked and agreed on that and I was aware that also requires a lot of efforts, well it was obviously only me that was taking that conversation seriously. He thinks he can get the fun part with the kids with NO efforts put in his own actions. So he kept lying. Now I don't trust him ever again, and I don't see him keeping any of his words even if he come to agreement on parenting. So that is making things harder to decide or start negotiating with him with the conditions. So I do feel how you feel....it is such a pain in the ass!

IgnoranceWasBliss wrote:

In my experience especially looking back I have to say if they are extremely homophobic! I had never been around someone in my entire life as homophobic as my Gay Ex. Now I know this red flag!

Oh em geeee YES!!!! I can't agree with you more!! I was never really against gay people before I married my GEH too. Soon after we're married, I was surprised how much he HATED gay people like it's wrong in God's eyes or it's the society doing that, or they're just being gay for fashion blah blah blah it was crazy!
So yes, I think that is something I guess I can look out for in future "if" I ever meet somebody.

Thank you for reminding everybody that, that was a good example of red flags as well!

Thank you so much everyone for sharing your thoughts. 

You know, like all the basic things we can obviously tell if they're gay or not, I believe those obvious basic signs won't work with most of us now. And it's because we're all betrayed, lied to, disrespected, and tricked our mind for a long time.

Now it is extra harder to simply just fall in love with someone because we all know that people answering our questions doesn't neseccarily mean they are honest with us. We never know if people are speaking & showing their truth because our gay husband/wife had showed us human's capability. That's when I start feeling stuck in this dark, negative loop of not able to trust anybody. And I believe this applys to any type of situations.

Plus I've heard this study or something many times, saying that the most gay people have their parents divorced and that not having their father is huge bottom rock for them to become gay. Speaking of the devil, my husband's parents were divorced, his father is such an asshole who is "never wanna put any efforts from himself but always expect it from people" type of guy. When I think of this and the fact that the couple who gets divorce is keep increasing in today's world, does that mean.....if that's true, men on this earth will eventually all turn into gay?!

I'm still in the beginning of the process of getting divorce, so I'm not talking about finding someone right now. I have so many other things that I want to focus on for myself & my children. Eventually I hope there's a guy who is meant to be with me out there somewhere but right now, I'm just grateful that I'm finally out of my soon-to-be EGH's closet nightmares and not dragged into it!

I read that some of you have dated or been dating significant others right now after this traumatic life event. How does it feel like? Can you feel the absolute differences with how you've been treated from them? What was it like to start dating again?

Hope to hear your story I don't wanna feel

I wrote a little bit of my story in general discussion couple days ago but I'm writing this as a diary wishing it could relate to somebody as well.
My husband finally accepted that his so called "curiosity" or "sexual desire" or "tendency", wasn't just a phase, but because him being gay, after 2 and half years from his first confession. It has been nothing but hell for me those years dealing with his same sex attractions and denial times. He was also pretty good at manipulating my mind & emotions by gaslighting, lying about every little things. I believe he does have a narcissistic behavior without him knowing and I know he'd flip all over me saying that how dare I even think he is a narcissist. 

Even through all those lies he'd ever told to my face, went behind my back, I'd say I'd done pretty much everything I can to save my marriage in any way possible I could think of at that moment. I tried compliment him. I tried to take him on a date. I dropped off to bring him a lunch with a small little love letter hidden inside. I tried to focus on myself and take care of myself for him to notice me. I tried to surprise him. I tried to smile more even tho he continuously lied to me. I applied and attended to school for achieving license, thinking he'd then maybe adore me...

I've tried everything I thought I could possibly do to repair marriage and move us somewhere brighter instead of just running away from this darkness. Well, it was all for nothing. That won't change husband's behavior, or ideas of next excuses, or another lies to tell. Actually no, I wouldn't tell myself it was all for nothing because it meant something deep at least for me. I did what I could do for this marriage that I swore to God I'd spend the rest of my life until the death do us apart. And I'm proud of myself that I've done and tried as much possible as I could.

Now that I see more ugly side of my soon-to-be ex husband after we came to the agreement of getting divorce. My GH told me before our