OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
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1 | General Discussion » The "Little" Signs » September 14, 2023 9:05 pm |
- Victo
- Replies: 21
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I think it was the way wherever we went, she always found her best friendships with lesbians.
| Support » Justsignedthelease » August 17, 2023 11:15 am |
- Victo
- Replies: 6
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Many of us here have expressed the wish that our own partners had allowed us to be clued in to their homosexuality or transgenderism early on. Before the wedding/kids/loans/joint careers, etc…
It sounds to me as though you are in a position that many of us here wish we had been in.
So carefully read the advice given here. Painful as it is, anyone suggesting you get out now is trying to help you reduce the much bigger pain down the line that comes from knowing how much time you have wasted on someone who cannot possibly love you the way you deserve to be loved.
| General Discussion » Obama’s letter » August 13, 2023 9:34 am |
- Victo
- Replies: 1
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So 21-yo Obama wrote to his then girlfriend that he had daily fantasies about men.
This is not a political slam in any way - this post isn’t about politics.
I really don’t understand same sex attraction. I’m a straight man and have absolutely zero fantasies about men ever. Ever. I personally find men gross. But women’s bodies are the source of all my sexual fantasy.
I think my ex lived a very compartmentalized life. That’s another thing I don’t understand. How can someone sublimate their sexuality to this degree? Obama, in this context, reminds me of my ex - carefully creating this image of perfect heterosexuality that is fully false only to advance social/political goals.
🤯
| General Discussion » Hollywood » July 30, 2023 7:54 pm |
- Victo
- Replies: 9
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But the people who MAKE the shows all live within the vicinity of West Hollywood. What they are showing on TV is phony, sure. But a huge percentage of people live an LGBTQIA+ lifestyle.
Which is why it is all the more maddening when we still are forced to deal with the f@*#% closeted ones!!!
| Support » LW filed for divorce, but wants to cohabitate for a year... » May 10, 2023 11:52 am |
- Victo
- Replies: 21
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Reading through this thread after a bit of a break from the forum has me feeling really terrible for what you are going through, SDWAP. I hope you can get away from your abuser. Just. Get. Away.
Then, things WILL start to get better.
I’m here with you, SDWAP. You can do it.
| General Discussion » Why did my closeted ex wife have kids with me? » March 22, 2023 11:36 am |
- Victo
- Replies: 23
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In the case of my narcissist GID ex-monster, it was the same reason she was in the closet to begin with: she wanted to be seen by the world as perfect.
My GIDX had an older sister with a handsome husband and a big house and two sons, and she wanted to compete on the same playing field. She was driven by a rivalry with her older sister - funny that I got roped into it because the older sister didn’t really give a fuck - she was more openly narcissist than my ex!! She didn’t care about a rivalry with her little sister because she didn’t care about anything other than herself!!!
So I paid the price for this icy competition between two extreme narcissist women who didn’t care about each other or me.
What a crazy mess.
| General Discussion » Anybody have a positive relationship with their ex-spouse? » February 11, 2023 11:51 am |
- Victo
- Replies: 19
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The only thing positive about my relationship with my ex is that I’m positive I want zero relationship with her.
| Support » Adrift » December 31, 2022 10:22 am |
- Victo
- Replies: 14
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Anon, I’m sorry for what you are experiencing right now. This is the depths of pain and hurt. It is the first holiday season after he left and of course this is going to be incredibly difficult.
…
I hope it in no way dismisses your pain to suggest that while it seems your GIDx is happiest right now, and it is undoubtedly true that he left with giddy excitement and you were left with dread and horror, it might be you putting a grass-is-greener view on his life compared to yours.
What he has done is severe and dramatic and it would be incompatible with being human to think it is always easy for him.
That’s just it. He is making extreme choices compared to his previous life and while he undoubtedly has felt some rush of excitement, he has also undoubtedly felt a great deal of doubt and uncertainty and fear.
So… given that what he is experiencing is also human in scale, the question is: why are you spending so much time resenting his freedom? You are spending a great deal of your personal energy wrapped up in projecting a perfectly happier life for him. Regardless of whether it is true, Fuck him!!!! Forget about that guy. He was a liar and a narcissistic Fuck who never cared for you truthfully and honorably.
I’m sorry about your pet health situation. That is a drag and it is obviously going to continue to be financially troublesome for you given the number of pets you have.
I’m greatly encouraged by your dating app experiences, and I recommend continuing this path.
I have literally swiped on thousands of profiles. Thousands. I have endured dates so dull that I cannot even remember them a week later. The dating app scene is a shitshow and you can’t expect it will magically work,
However, my hope for finding a sane companionship is the one hope that keeps me going. I have come to the point where I enjoy the process of meeting incompatible people precisely because I can walk away so easily from any bad date. What I’m learning is to define m
| Support » The Baggage » December 11, 2022 12:52 pm |
- Victo
- Replies: 5
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I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying things, going through doubts, and failing at love again. All of that is normal life stuff. And it’s sucks. But it also sets us up for self improvement, self discipline, and ultimately, self knowledge.
What you are going through Anon sounds perfectly normal to me. It is not easy but you are definitely taking an active approach to your life. I think that will give you more long term value than passively waiting to heal.
I’m sorry for the self doubts and for worry. I also struggle with many of the issues you do. Dating is hard enough - ESPECIALLY if you come from a marriage based on deceit.
But there is a flipside: because you have suffered, there is a window of opportunity where you can find enjoyment and contentment in your life. Because you know how bad things can be, you will be able to find appreciation for moments and people and experiences that bring goodness into your life.
| Support » My Attorney decided to close her practice » December 7, 2022 1:28 pm |
- Victo
- Replies: 8
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A divorce lawyer is like a cab driver.
You need someone to drive you across town. Ideally, you want to ride in a clean, spacious car that avoids traffic jams and gets you to where you want to go efficiently, safely, and inexpensively.
If the place you need to go is particularly rocky, you might need a more expensive ride with a more hardcore driver, but the effect is the same.
You just need someone to get you across town. They aren’t your friends. They are there to drive you, so try to pick the best cab driver for your needs and try not to let this add to your worry.