lily wrote:

Here's J.K. Rowling talking about transgender activism.

I've been watching/participating in the "trans are women!" debacle for some years now. I've watched GallusMag's GenderTrender get pulled down. Seen my friends Miranda Yardley and Infamous T banned from Twitter. Observed the lunatics protecting predators like Jonathan Yaniv. Watched as men in skirts have taken women's positions in politics, corps, and charity orgs. Have seen the women's shelters in Canada made worthless by admitting men. Spoken with Ray Blanchard about autogynephilia. Been called a terf and every other female related insult you can imagine because men are threatened and jealous of what I am that they can never be.

And now I'm watching JK get raked over the coals a bit. Notably, she's getting more love than hate. Her Twitter ratios speak loudly. The tide has been turning.
 

"Queer means having same sex attraction, doesn't it?"

It used to. Originally it was used as a pejorative. The word queer was used typically as a way of identifying someone of LGB orientation in a negative way. It morphed into being embraced by some LGB people in order to remove the power of the word as a pejorative (think the "we're here, we're queer" chant). It's now become a catch-all term to describe the countless ways (with more being invented daily) people choose to reject binary categories of gender and sexual orientation outside commonly understood hetero and LGB parameters.

"Before the pandemic, I was doing online dating, but the purpose of meeting people online was to meet in person.  Now that 'in person' is out, I basically have zero desire to meet online.  Online dating without any ability to meet in person is way too much like my marriage.  If there is never to be any physical contact, what is the point?!"

People are cam meeting currently I believe. Having a "coffee date" over cam to see if chemistry is there and then getting to know one another. Nothing wrong with that, this quarantine isn't going to last forever. They'll meet in person when they can. In the meantime they have the ability to talk a great deal and get to know one another. There's not much a cam won't catch vs meeting "in person". Most guys want in person meetings to assure you ARE what your profile pics have displayed. Cams take care of that.

I'd rather meet a guy on cam personally. In person meetings have turned into pressure for me too often. Dude wants to touch me, kiss me, etc. Hard pass.

I'm so sorry, ThisToo. Reading your post, I can feel the pain resonating in your words.

I'm going to try and be brief here. Sometimes the best way to see things is to examine the pieces instead of the whole. Especially when the whole seems overwhelming.

" He was attracted to men, and he couldn't be 100% committed to me without exploring that side of himself.  All I remember doing is falling back under the covers and sobbing"

This board hears this a lot. Every time I see it I reflect on one thing - I can be attracted to someone that isn't him as well. Does this mean I need to explore that attraction or not feel complete? Men are unique. Taken as individuals, they aren't the same. They don't talk the same, have the same personalities, have sex the same. Would this be a legitimate statement to make in supporting you telling him why you need to "explore" the side of yourself that is attracted to a man that's not him?

"I've uncovered lies and half truths, found out about an almost-physical affair with a woman, and his emotional entanglement with a man."

There's no reason for lies - except to manipulate the situation and you. Lying is stealing. Stealing your autonomy. Stealing your choice. Stealing your reality. What greater fraud is there than stealing years of someone's life? Years they will never recover.

he says "I didn't have a choice."

The statement "I had to lie" is never true. There are other choices which were evaluated but found too costly. That is the truth of "I had to lie".

"he brought the paperwork home, saying he wanted to do it without lawyers, be amicable."

Please, don't do this. Protect yourself with an attorney. He has already demonstrated to you that he feels justified in lying. He feels justified in going outside the marriage. He feels entitled to fulfill his wants at your expense. Protect yourself (and any children y

walkbymyself wrote:

I'm ok with Sean's participation in a dedicated thread.  I actually didn't have so much of an issue with Sean, probably because by the time I'd joined up, he'd owned up to the pain he'd caused.  He was here to listen or to respond to questions, but not necessarily to evangelize

Sums up pretty well how I feel about the Sean thread. He learned, others learned, it seemed a lot more beneficial than harmful. If he had been extolling gay virtues, legitimizing gay usage of straight people due to social issues, etc., the lot of us would have protested loudly.

I cannot say I feel that way about the "MOM" section. It seems in conflict with the intended spirit of this forum altogether.