Hi, friends..... As a recap, I broke up with my boyfriend of 10 months, someone I've known and loved for 43 years, because he is bisexual, into heavy kink.....I set him free, with love, to go get clarity. I wasn't scared, anxious, afraid, angry.....I literally set him free from a place of pure love, and cried a river with the decision.

Now it turns out he will not be pursuing any romantic relationship, but simply finding sex buddies (both male and female) so he can freely pursue his sex addiction, deviant appetites..... I presume this means going back to a sex club and all the horrors that entails (horrors, to me, anyway).

I feel so slimed! That i loved and was intimate with this person. I can't shake the feeling of revulsion, and horror at what has happened....is happening.

How do I shake this revulsion and nausea and horror?

Dear Personal Torment..... Gotta say, what you are asking for, is absolutely legitimate.  Please do not feel that your anxiety is in any way your problem to fix.  Please do not.  This is not your problem - it is the other person being completely disrespectful.  Put the problem squarely on your partner's shoulders, and Do Not take on the problem.  You are asking for the most basic of respect.  My two bits. 

Hi.  I just broke up with my boyfriend.  Someone I have known for 43 years, but only dated for the last ten.  He, too, seemed to want to stay close/best friends.  Just this afternoon I cut ties.  His messages would make me shake.  Fear of more hurt?  Not sure.  But I listened to my body an cut ties, said we can be friends down the road, but a time-out is required....

I think it's pretty tough when the emotions are running hard and fast, to switch over to being friends instantaneously.  I swear my guy wanted his cake, and to eat it too.  In other words, he still wanted me as his best friend, but wanted sexual freedom with his bisexuality and kink.........

Best advice I can give you, is to listen to your body and your gut.  Take care of YOU.  I know, for myself, I feel relieved and can breathe again.... Tells me that the decision I made was right for me.  Find your truth, act from a loving place (and that includes love for YOU!).  Best of luck in your process.  Hope this helps even a little.  Hugs. 

Thank you, Daryl.  I appreciate your note and support.  So far, so good.  I feel at peace.  Blessings to you!

Hi, friends.  I haven't visited this forum since February of this year.....  I am a hetero female who has been dating a bisexual man for 10 months, someone I have known for 43 years.  I was madly in love.

My partner was given to rants and rages, big mood swings....lots of unresolved anger and resentment and confusion about his sexual orientation, and definitely into some kink that was not in my playbook.

A few weeks ago, I set him free.  He had just finished one of his various rants, which included how he wanted to be his "authentic self."  Well....that would include bisexuality and kink....things I cannot abide.

So, I cried hard for a day, and then cut him loose, with love.  Not only was it a loving thing to do for myself, as his volatility was taking a toll on my health, but it was the most loving thing I could do for him.  Now he is free to live his life outside the parameters of a monogomous hetero relationship.  

I am healing.  I really appreciate that I found this forum.... It really helped me through some difficulties.

I feel really at peace with my decision.  It will hurt for a while, I am sure, but every day there is just a little more healing and a little more peace.

I wish everyone here the best on their respective journeys.  Best regards to you all!