My trans husband also said he was the same person he's always been... while slowly trying to transform into a twisted version of woman in front of my eyes. I mean, WTF?! I tried to understand his point of view because I love him. But my mind simply refused to process it.
When I think about it now, it really proves he's been a liar all his life.

Pinklady wrote:

Last night after “trying to make me feel better” he told me I have a personality disorder and that I do not have the qualities that a “proper” woman has. And for a man to treat his woman with respect the woman first needs to show proper woman qualities to her man. I hid in the bathroom and sobbed like a baby. This is all after he told me he has to watch women flashing their boobs on tik tok to have a w*nk because I don’t put out enough.

I wish somebody, ANYBODY but him, knew exactly what’s going on and could TELL me how to FIX this mess.

Maybe I do have a personality disorder. My mum was a very jealous woman and Always thought my dad was cheating on her or looking at other women. My husband knows about this and he now says I am just like my mum. Although my mum NEVER thought my dad could be gay. I guess that paranoia of mine wasn’t inherited.

Pinklady, I suggest you read the list of manipulation techniques on this page. Write down all that apply to your husband (and don't doubt yourself while you're at it).

If you find out he uses any manipulation technique on you regularly and systematically, then there is absolutely nothing you can do to change him. Manipulators simply refuse to listen. Don't waste your time trying to understand his behavior or to make him understand your feelings. You cannot change any of this. He is unable and/or unwilling to care about you, so it must be you who cares about you.

As for the "gay or not gay" dilemma, you can do something similar: listen to Sean's podcast and write down all that he mentions about GID husbands' behavior that seems relevant to your situation. (Remember that no straight man would ever behave like that.)

I don't know if this works for you but writing things down often helps me to see the situation more cl

Nadine, I meant declaration of nullity according to the church law. My husband is trans and he didn't tell me some things I had right to know before marriage, which I hope will be sufficient. I was waiting for his official diagnosis to have some hard evidence.

Hi all,

I want to try for annulment next year. I'm rather scared and I haven't started yet but I will try. It isn't nice but it will set me free in some ways.

And I've booked a short cruise on a traditional sailing ship. Always wanted to try that

Thank you for all the stories you share. It means a lot to me.

JKvali: I hear you. More or less the same happened to me.

I still love the man I married but he made it clear that the "man" was just a mask, he is dead, he was never real. I hate the new person, the impostor. We are no longer together. When he asked me to call him by his fake female name, I just said no. I'm not doing that. If it makes him happy, he can live any way he likes, but it's not my duty to be his cheerleader if the cost would be my own sanity.

I'm sorry if I got too emotional over this. It happened one year ago and the anniversary is bringing it all back. I just wanted to say: I know what it's like. It's grossly unfair. It's awfully painful. A nuke to your face. A complete brainfuck.

But you can survive this and heal.