No I am gay friendly.  There was a period where I felt like I'd had enough gay to last a lifetime but it passed and I am back to normal. 

I don't talk about how my ex treated me other than particular friends.  Yes plenty of people show a lack of sympathy towards the straight.

I don't have children so I don't have to worry.

Love that phrase "teflon virtue".  

I have absolutely gotten that reflexive "oh the poor man, to be forced to conceal his sexuality" bullshit.  My daughter (now 27, but 23 when it all came out) gets the same BS.

My ex-inlaws were amazingly loving and open-minded people.  My MIL's youngest brother was gay, and she was extremely supportive in an era when that was very, very unusual.  I get triggered when people insinuate that my XH had to lie about his sexuality because of some narrow-mindedness of his parents.  There are many, many people his age who did the right thing and came out.  He chose his life because he's a twisted, sick fuck who enjoys controling people.

Walk,

Yes you describe my GXs arrogance in deciding she would just marry me and suppress her sexuality for decades.  She would give crumbs of physical affection because..hey I was ok with it and she was a God and had power over the moon and tides.
Another description of what she did was .."not normal".. so sick and the fword are accurate.

SameDeepWaterAsPhil wrote:

....But, I AM really, really, angry.

Know how you feel. I've actually once spat on a rainbow painted as a crossing on a road. A few years ago when all this was dumped on me.
I've tried really strongly to stop feeling as hateful...since ALL LGBTQ people aren't bad....right?

Then I was thrown a curve ball...my grandson decided he was a female. So that's just added to my own personal pile of Mindfuck. I'm in the middle of the pile and nobody knows I'm in here

#?+(*!!!!
 

Anon2222 wrote:

I really struggle with all of this. I cannot see any physical anything between two men without having actual pain. It's a visceral reaction. It feels like a slap in the face and a punch in the gut at the same time. And it's flipping everywhere. It's always in my face.

I just feel like the LGBTQ thing is being shoved down my throat and I can't escape it. I just want a break I guess. And I'm just sick of it being some sort of pass to act however you want, do whatever you want, and heaven help you if you don't agree with something.

I feel similarly-- especially the concept that you must conform with everyone else's view on this or you are "hateful". I have passively smiled at everything the past few years hiding and suppressing what I think is rational, true and honest. (This is a must in how I conduct myself at work too given revised norms.)

I feel that straight people who refuse to ignore LGBTQ people's abuse-- which I've found to be most-- themselves are displaying a streak of violence. If they could acknowledge what a straight partner has endured, they could not with a conscience support the perpetrator of abuse. It seems to me that in this, people don't care about truth, but what conforms to accepted standards and is the easiest path to adopt. Sympathy should only be given if a person hasn't been violent to those around them-- someone who has not spent his/her/their life directly lying to others. I feel like our society simply props up and continues the suppression and abuse of straight partners-- I don't even think it is the abusive individuals themselves, but everyone who supports them, and that that amassed, suppressive view is at least as traumatizing as, and more inescapable than, what the former partner did.

Heartwarming coming out stories sometimes state that although family and friends previously didn't understand the person's suppression, but they "responded with love because they loved me". Yet family and friends, and the general public, *do not* support straight partners, accept them or even acknowledge what the LGBTQ partner did and may continue to be doing. Somehow, straight partners still don't exist and aren't allowed to-- just as they weren't during the active relationship in many ways.

This is the new world to me on this count. One of suppression and supporting of those who abuse, either without realizing or caring that one does it, and being righteous that this support of letting someone else do whatever they want is a reflection of one's kindness. I think everyone should be more critical when a person comes out than to unhesitatingly celebrate and conclude that "love wins". The whole of human history and human nature haven't changed by revised marriage legislation. The phrase "love wins" shouldn't ever be attributed to human beings in my opinion. It's akin to the concept that  the universe revolves around Earth. 

Because of this movement and society's completely uncritical view of LGBTQ people's violence, I feel like society has stepped back from truth and reality in a vast way over the last decade. One can live as one wants if it doesn't harm others; one should not be quick to pat on the back people who've been directly and acutely abusive for decades, or people who've lied to everyone around them about something honestly important for those others to known for years. I resent how little people care about this abuse and lying and call themselves loving. Love can be harsh. Love is honest. It makes an effort to shut down rather than participate in violence.

Last edited by clintonia (January 1, 2023 3:11 am)