Where do I find WW’s story?

I feel alone, too, especially today. After getting out of a 26 year marriage in 2016 to a lying, abusive cxd/trans-wanna-be, in 2018 I met an amazing man who showed me what abundance could look like in a relationship. We were together almost five years. And he just broke it off last evening. It’s not his fault and I’m not angry. I’m just deep in the throes of a new grief. He has had and has Parkinson’s disease—I’m so sad—a complicated, chronic and degenerative neurologic disease that is getting the better of him. There are non-motor impacts that are changing his personality and his world is shrinking while mine continues to expand. I know he loves me. I’m doing okay —I’m just feeling profound grief. I think I did allow myself to see a future together even though the odds were totally against us. Being in the world feels so different today because he’s not “out there” for me any more. I learned so much about myself in that journey out of a marriage full of deprivation and dishonesty. So I know I’ll be okay,  and that I’m never really alone. There is so much love and beauty around me all the time and I have to keep my heart and eyes  open  to experience it. You all taught me that. As much as I’m hurting now, I wouldn't trade the last 4.7 years for anything. . ❤️🙏🏾☀️🌷

Elliierigg, Wow, how strong and clear about your reality you are, as well as your boundaries. Please know we are here cheering you on, on the good days and the bad ones. Keep that indomitable faith in yourself and find strength in every breath you take.

Yes, it’s abuse:  My ex impersonated a heterosexual man during the decades of our longterm marriage.
Twenty-four years into the marriage, I discovered—he never told me—that my husband had been cross-dressing for sexual gratification for many years during our marriage. That’s all I know. There’s plenty I asked and he answered but I simply couldn’t believe anything that came out of his mouth after that initial and fleeting moment of grace. There’s more I will never know, once I understood he is a pathological liar, like is he gay? (I got an AIDS test.) Is he bi? Is he a trans-wannabe? A watcher of porn? Some of the above but not all? Who knows? Not me. My world shattered, but I held myself together for the sake of our sons (2 were still in college); we separated two years after the discovery and divorced two years after that. I certainly didn’t rush into anything.
We live in a small town in a largely rural state. In that critical moment of clarity as I discovered his stash of women’s lingerie, makeup, wigs and shoes, I experienced the trauma of doubting everything he had ever told me about himself, what he was doing and how he felt, especially how he felt about me. I came to understand the overt lies he told me over time, the omission of telling me his truths, and the “gaslighting”, as a form of domestic abuse (see the work of Dr. Omar Minwalla on the topic of ”deceptive sexuality” as intimate partner abuse and domestic abuse.) “Devastated” is not too strong a word to describe my life upon discovery of his secret self. He robbed me of so much, including a special silver necklace of mine I searched high and low for, thinking I’d misplaced it and finally gave it up for “lost” –until I found it in his stash of dress-up jewelry.

I’m not aware that my ex committed any crime—although if impersonating a police officer is a crime I have no idea why impersonating a straight husband isn’t one, too. It should be. A husband who physi

[Elle wrote: I'm so pleased all my children know about this and are supportive.]

What a relief! Deep breaths during your whole vacation. Do lots of self care!  Take extra, good care of yourself (no one else will.) Restore, rejuvenate, recreate. Rebuild that inner strength you are tapping into.  Thinking of you and sending you lovingkindness—May Elle be free from suffering. May Elle be at peace. May Elle be held  in the Light. Enjoy your time alone. I bet you are great company to yourself. XO