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- Anon42
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Hang in there, Elle! You can get through it.
We are here for you, even if just virtually.
- Toward the Light
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
I feel alone, too, especially today. After getting out of a 26 year marriage in 2016 to a lying, abusive cxd/trans-wanna-be, in 2018 I met an amazing man who showed me what abundance could look like in a relationship. We were together almost five years. And he just broke it off last evening. It’s not his fault and I’m not angry. I’m just deep in the throes of a new grief. He has had and has Parkinson’s disease—I’m so sad—a complicated, chronic and degenerative neurologic disease that is getting the better of him. There are non-motor impacts that are changing his personality and his world is shrinking while mine continues to expand. I know he loves me. I’m doing okay —I’m just feeling profound grief. I think I did allow myself to see a future together even though the odds were totally against us. Being in the world feels so different today because he’s not “out there” for me any more. I learned so much about myself in that journey out of a marriage full of deprivation and dishonesty. So I know I’ll be okay, and that I’m never really alone. There is so much love and beauty around me all the time and I have to keep my heart and eyes open to experience it. You all taught me that. As much as I’m hurting now, I wouldn't trade the last 4.7 years for anything. . ❤️🙏🏾☀️🌷
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Toward the Light wrote:
I feel alone, too, especially today. After getting out of a 26 year marriage in 2016 to a lying, abusive cxd/trans-wanna-be, in 2018 I met an amazing man who showed me what abundance could look like in a relationship. We were together almost five years. And he just broke it off last evening.....
That is so sad Toward.
I can't even think about the possibility of another r'ship, intimate or otherwise. Must be my age...lol
E
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- Toward the Light
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
E, I’m 63! It’s never too late, in my opinion. And by the way, my current sweetheart and I talked ALOT over the weekend and have found a path forward, rather than chuck the whole “thing” until such time as he has to move in with his son out of state. (We do not co-habitate.) Trying to keep our lives in today.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
I received an email from A. last night, asking if I was okay and tentatively asking about reconciliation.
I replied and explained my reasoning why it shouldn't happen. I won't post it all but this is a small part of my reply
""I've found I can't/don't want to live on my own which is why [our son's] offer was timely and even though I sometimes miss the easy life of 'us' I believe going back to us would be trampling on all the work I've done to reach where I am. We'll never make 38 years disappear but we can learn to live with it comfortably apart""
Elle
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- Rob
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Reconciliation? What does that mean? You have to reconcile yourself to exactly what...more hurt, anxiety, or wondering what he is up to or if you are good enough. Sounds like he's getting lonely and doesn't think he did anything wrong.
I think as you look back maybe it was financially easy sure, but when I look back I now see how hard my GX made ordinary life....if there was not drama she created it out of thin air to make life harder than it ever should have been.
Your reply was kind hearted showing the person that you are.
Last edited by Rob (August 9, 2023 7:29 pm)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Anon42
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
I received an email from A. last night, asking if I was okay and tentatively asking about reconciliation.
I replied and explained my reasoning why it shouldn't happen. I won't post it all but this is a small part of my reply
...
I'm sure he wouldn't mind "reconciling" with you, it's still convenient. Good for you!
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Rob and 42...I think my reply to him was my chance to move on. I wouldn't call it forgiveness as such but I'd rather move on without bitterness
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- Anon42
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Yeah, moving on without bitterness is probably the best outcome you could get.
I'm not sure if you're asking for an opinion, I'll share mine anyway 
I'd probably try to describe the pain he caused/is causing more. Though I guess you've done that multiple times over before or even in other parts of that email. And it may not make a difference to him anyway.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
I'd probably try to describe the pain he caused/is causing more. Though I guess you've done that multiple times over before or even in other parts of that email. And it may not make a difference to him anyway.
Yeah nah...A thinks differently and I know talking to him wouldn't help. It was always me doing the talking, me who wanted assurance.. clarity. While he hardly engaged with my concerns.
But I'm here if he ever wants to discuss anything. Pigs will fly if that ever happens.
E
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter