And that is why we are all on here. For that mutual support. We might have differences, different view points but this network is a flag of hope to us all.

Let admin do what they need to do for this sight's existance, it's not going to change who we really are, and how we support each other. It's my ex's behaviour and decisions that caused me heartache. I don't hate gays or lesbians walking down the street past me. We will never be able to change WHO they are. It's this one individual in my life who has made wrong choices from the beginning and who's behaviour has had a devastating impact on me, who has stuffed up my 29 years of marriage. For sure, I will attack his choices and behaviour! And rub the pain in his face....

We will continue to say it as it is, how it has been, and carve the way forward for each other here, little by little, in order for us to move forward. We know what has become of the world out there, it is pretty clear. It's not getting any better. Let's keep sharing our heartaches.. to get healed.  (WE with respect! )

Ordinary guy wrote:

Upside wrote:

These resonate with me. Thank you for creating this OrdinaryGuy.

The below also might be of interest, which are anecdotes collected from personal stories on these forums:
The Big List of Red Flags
 

The common denominator we have is the child. Without the child my life would be empty, but I would simply divorce her and move on. It is the presence of children in these relationships that is the complicating factor that others need to understand as the reason why as straight spouses we do not put our own happiness first and foremost. 

I get that... I sallute you...and all others who have young children and want to sacrifice their own happiness for their children's. However I am certain that with counselling etc, you can find a way to make this work on your own. I wonder how often lesbians end up having the children with them, while being in their new 'happy' relationships. I often think, that gays generally are very self-centred people, and would not worry too much about having children around. This is an assumption... What are people's experiences in this regard? I would rather have my child with me every other week, or every other 2 weeks, and be a happier person without having to pretend. I know this is easier said than done... I don't want to step on anyone's toes... This is hard as is....

Gosh there are so many things all of you have written and I sooo agree with that, Dixie. 30 years of my life too, and yes, manipulative, and a user.
I find myself in a bit of a pretzel-position: We HAVE had our divorce in March, and I live on my own since mid April. And it was sort of o k for the past 4 months, until this blinkin' lockdown hit here in Auckland, NZ. All the covid info around me, and with no family in sight, and no way of driving to a friend, or just getting out as usual, going to and back from work drives me nuts...

I started developing an ulcer, and GH said I can stay with him and my son until I feel better and want to go back home, just 5 min away... I simply had to... I could feel I was spiriling downwards... but it's not easy being here in the same house. We have nothing in common. With my son here, and my fluffy friend it becomes a bit better... Luckily for me, he goes to work every day... I suppose it's not that bad...Thank goodness!

However, many and constant questions on which I've never had clear answers to kept bombarding me during the last couple of months, and I thought now would be a good time to talk about that and get clarity. We'll see how honest he REALLY is, and what else he was hiding from me all these years...

Just want to move on with life, but it's not easy. I feel extremely lonely. I am on meds for anxiety and depression, and I'd say, the latter comes for 'visits' quite often. I do go for walks, I started painting on an easle which I have never done before, LOL, and I have ordered a Teddy in the Box kit, to keep my head and hands busy. Over all, I feel to betrayed... so used...

Yes, Selfrenewal, the problem is that he is also kind, and generous and very charismatic too! He even told me about two women that were interested in him at some stage, no wonder! And Rob, same here, " I was the kindest, most loving" wife and I worked very hard all my life to support our family where I could. And since being in NZ, he didn't try ONC

A very good link: have a read at this...

https://www.womenpartners.org.au/wp-content/uploads/ARTICLES-ON-GAY-MARRIED-MENApril2016.pdf

Warm regards

I am thinking about it too, to change back to my maiden name.
Hope those 120 days go fast... get busy! Looking forward for your sake, to have it official and finalized... OH, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! The next ones will be great, and you will celebrate it with people who really care! Hang in there.... you can do this...!