OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
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* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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1 | Is He/She Gay » Realizing she is gay » April 19, 2024 4:14 am |
- Rob
- Replies: 3
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Earl,
Welcome. As a straight guy years out from this...yes...she is lesbian.
I originally coming to this forum thought my sex life was ok. Now looking back I realize. ..no. I always had to initiate. After kids...yeah..sex was a chore for her. It should not be a chore. So it's like she realized she didn't like it.
Don't beat yourself up. Know that you gave true absolute love and affection. She gave..held back love and affection? Tolerance?
One thing you and I didn't give is hurt.
Wishing you strength and self love on your journey.
| General Discussion » Mad » April 13, 2024 8:41 am |
- Rob
- Replies: 20
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Up vote on bluebears post.
Walk,
Your recount of this sounds awful. I hope you're doing ok now. It angers me that these spouses take so much from us.. its like they are insatiable. I think they would try to take our souls if they could.
There is a fine line between these spouses being aholes and being truly malevolent and evil. Trick is to survive and get as far away from them as possible.
| General Discussion » Mad » April 12, 2024 6:19 am |
- Rob
- Replies: 20
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Jupiter1,
Yeah I refer to my divorce as my 2.5 years in hell. It doesnt have to be that way with a normal spouse ...but my GX had these delusions that:
a.) She was in control of the divorce.. At one point she sent a letter to the lawyers and me saying just that.
b.) I was not to see the children except every other weekend.
c.) Both her and her girlfriend would both not work and buy a big house together. for themselves and the kids.. myself and the other straight husband would pay for everything.
So the when none of that was true the wrath and costs escalated. Lily is right in that the outcome is basically the same no matter how you divorce...each gets basically what the law allows. I guess the real question is how entitled and narcissistic your husband is and which you feel he can manipulate more.. a mediator or 2 lawyers.. In my case my GX ... she lied to the family mediator that I was a bad father.. I knew then and there that I chose correctly as any stranger could not tell if she was lying or telling the truth. It was the scariest and lowest point in my life on this planet..
Whatever you do ...do it once and be free of him.. life is so short and there is little use is wasting anymore time with a hurtful spouse that would rather we be dead.
Thoughts of strength and fierce stoic resolve..
| General Discussion » Mad » April 11, 2024 3:34 pm |
- Rob
- Replies: 20
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Jupiter1,
So sorry. It baffles me what goes through their minds...3 years is a long time living like that and I would argue that even a normal roommate would treat one better.. I think you have done your time.
I would advise against mediation if it can be helped. One reason is because in my area if there is any issue after divorce one needs to go back to mediation.. How reasonable will these spouses be in any dealings when they feel they were entitled to marry and then hurt us for years...
Regardless, with the help of my lawyer I was able to stick up for myself and say NO. (No I will not go live on the street and give up the children and die. I will sell body organs before I give up my time with the kids...you cannot fathom or comprehend the lengths I will go to for the kids.).
Be prepared for wrath as we the loving and loyal spouse say one simple but strong word...No.
Thoughts of strength and stoicism.
| General Discussion » Upcoming Mediation » April 10, 2024 9:04 am |
- Rob
- Replies: 10
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Anon2222,
So sorry. For me a million dollars a day was a small price to pay to be free of her. Exaggerating but at some point it becomes priceless to be free of them.
Which you strength and stoicism.
| General Discussion » Upcoming Mediation » April 9, 2024 4:12 pm |
- Rob
- Replies: 10
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Anon2222
Do you have to do mediation? My lawyer advised against it and I agree..how reasonable is it to debate with a gay in denial person?...most are narcissist.
| Support » Children » April 9, 2024 7:08 am |
- Rob
- Replies: 7
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Sadly their blatant disregard for feelings and ability to hurt us...extents to the children.
It's not something we could do to our children.. And that is the difference between these spouses and us. Its a moral thing that I feel has nothing to do with them being gay/trans/green alien.
Our kids need someone to help them through TGT and sadly these gay/trans/alien spouses are not it. These kids need us now and later in life also... We can show them what absolute, fierce, loyal love is and what we are made of. God knows and God sees.
| General Discussion » Feeling Guilty » April 5, 2024 5:26 pm |
- Rob
- Replies: 4
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No you should not feel guilty. Reading your story it seems he unilaterally made many decisions without telling you. I found they can dish it out but cannot stand it when we stand up for ourselves the tiniest bit.
More importantly keeping your hurt and stress bottled up will eat you up and make you physically ill. Its not something he should be doing to you on a moral level.
Wishing you strength and self love.
| Support » A Heartfelt Thank You » April 3, 2024 7:13 pm |
- Rob
- Replies: 1
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Anon,
Yes this forum was so helpful for me.. I try to give back with advice and empathy but TGT is such a hard thing for any straight spouse to go through..
I hope all who come here can see they are worth more than their spouse can ever comprehend.
| Support » I officially filed for a divorce today. So many mixed emotions! » April 2, 2024 6:46 am |
- Rob
- Replies: 15
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Good for you..its like a pile of bricks being lifted off your chest I found.
Also pomp and circumstance...these spouses divorced us long ago..