I strongly advise against mediation. I reached 3 agreements, signed them and notarized them, only to have her change the terms. I finally had to file. In the end, I paid 60K that I would not have if I just filed from the start to get basically the same agreement. These people (most) are not honest with themselves, why would anyone believe they will be honest with you? Not sure why I did, was still naive at that point I guess. Save the money, file and if you reach an agreement before trial great, but do not expect honesty

Great advice above. Everyone has their own journey. I was mad, about a year ago. My life has done nothing but get better since the split. My ex is not a good person and she has done and continues to do awful things. Sharing that story with others does not make one angry. It's just sharing the story. I hope you stay, as I believe people who land here need to hear and read all kinds of different stories. Ultimately, they will come to their own conclusions and go down their own path/journey. 

Thanks for being here and posting. I hope you never feel the anger. Time heals all wounds. For me, I will never be more grateful for it all, because I wouldn't be where I am now, had I not experienced what I did. 

Anon - I am so sorry. Awful. I can relate, but without the violence. MY ex wife to this day lies about me. I figure she cant help herself, because if she faced the reality of how she treated me, how she puts her own children last, she would probably take her own life. So she must deflect elsewhere.

Good advise above, if you are afraid, try to get a restraining order. I hope you have a judge and county that will help, not all will. Mine could care less that I documented her behavior, broken promised and lies. She dragged things out over 1.5 years and it was absolutely exhausting. Focus on what makers you happy and do whatever you have to do to protect your peace. 

Hang in there, it does get better. These people are sick (no different than cancer). Does not absolve them, but helps to understand what you are up against.

Hi ffex - ultimately, this is your journey. That said, I felt the same way when my ex wife came out after 24 years together (19 years married). Unlike yours, she lied, had an affair for months and then continued lying after the disclosure. Regardless, an empty cup can not pour into another. IF you do not look after yourself, you won't be able to help anyone, including your kids. Your wife is on her path and she needs to learn to deal with it. Your life as you knew it is over, but something else will take its place. It can be misery, if you try to carry her burden and abandon yourself in doing so. Or it could be the start of a new, more fulfilling life. Clarity only comes with time. Take a step back, observe actions, not words. My now ex wife still believes after all of the lies, a horrible treatment of me for over 20 years, I owe her something. She only knows the old me, the one who gave everything to her and my own expense. The new me is far more kind, but has boundaries. It will hurt, but it is needed for you both to move on. 

I wish you the best. At the time, it was the most difficult point in my life. I now wake up DAILY grateful for a failed marriage and mistreatment. Why? Because I would not be who I am and experiencing the pure joy I experience daily had I not gone through what I did. This is your path. Which direction it goes from here? That's up to you.....

I can provide both. My ex wife is a licensed psychologist and taught me for years about the condition. Little did I know she was describing herself the entire time. My body always knew, I was sick the entire 23 years together. In the 1+ year apart? Best health of my adult life. Happy to help anyway I can. Whether or not they are a diagnosed narc is not really the point, toxic behavior is toxic behavior.