Chalizbet,
You REALLY need consider ending this relationship. I understand that you love him and have spent your entire adult life with him. I started dating my ex the summer after I graduated from high school. The cold hard reality of this is there is no going back to before. The feeling of not being enough is always going to be there. The wondering and worrying is always going to be there.You can’t “unknow” this. There may be times when things seem good, but the good doesn’t last.
It is good that he was honest with you about having an attraction to men, but it is still extremely likely he is gay. My ex and many others on here started out as “bisexual.” I struggled for about 5 years before I finally let go and filed for divorce and then got blamed by him for destroying our family. Then after just short of 25 years of marriage he married the man that was the last straw within 6 months of our divorce being final. You are still young find someone that you can be enough for and be happy. Sometimes we have to accept the things we can’t change.

Hi Fi, so glad that you talked to your friend and I’m sure that she was very well meaning. It really helps to talk. I think possibly what could have happened is that she was trying to look for an explanation some kind of understanding. My divorce has been final about a year and a half, my ex is now married to a man and still on hook-up sites as a “top” you can’t get much more spelled out than that and I still struggle with trying to understand and make sense of what happened. Married 24 years, 6 kids and he plays the victim. Just remember your friends explanation is not really plausible because as others have said with the pictures he’s a bottom to put it bluntly he’s not looking to to have anal, which technically he could do with you and yes might be scared of your reaction, he’s looking to receive. And interestingly my ex who lists himself as top “looking to have anal” did not look for it with me. Just specking from my own experience you can’t wait until you’ve ruled out every possible explanation for why your husband is doing these things because even in my case where I consciously know I still struggle to understand and make sense of the situation. There seems to be something about us where we want to believe in them and not give up. In some ways it’s just an incomprehensible situation for me at least.

I just watched the link and I also watched the movie and I may be remembering it wrong, but I thought the son asked the dad “does mom know?” And he replied “I don’t think so” I actually watched the movie with my gay son who is the least close as in almost zero relationship with his gay dad. It very much downplays the wife’s experience. Was that in the movie or my imagination? It almost romatises the dad’s situation. Where my experience in reality is different. I believe my ex was jealous of the life my son chose, to live in the truth. Yet now that my ex is married to a man he is still on a hook up site with his sexual preferences listed, a picture and looking for random play, regulars etc. and he hasn’t even been married a year along with having the same problems with depression? In theory he should be happy? Apparently mine has even more issues than living in the closet.