Hello all ,
This is a shout out to Sean . My story started in 2019 /2020 wirh a deterioration in my marriage which started with my ex having mental health issues- depression. Brief history, ( I do need to add he has narcisstic traits which ultimately made the whole experience even more complex and abusive)
Met when we were both 42,  both of us coming out of abusive relationships, he a marriage, me longterrm partner
Love bombing, I got joyfully pregnant ( 1st time) after a few months, moved in together , had our son and then twins 2 years later, WONDERFUL
We married in 2017, Almost immediately things went wrong, depression \verybal abuse and erectile dysfunction on his part
Came to crisis point and he " admitted " he "may be bisexual " and that this was a factor in his previous marriage ending ( told me she had an affair) and a previous engagement ending as well.
I played along, feigned support , tell me more, came out with sexual fantasiies about having sex with men, discussed where he had done this previously ( but OBVIOUSLY ) not since he had met me ! and that if he didnt " come out" he would kill himself"
So he came out via Text to family and friends.. He " adored " me wanted to keep our family intact, swore monogamy etc, and that despite this we would be a family forever...I was so confused and blindsinded that I didnt know what I was doing or feeling , just a relief that he wouldnt be so depressed.
So I reached out to Sean , what was in this mans mind??
Well basically this is a warning..it played out exactly as he predicted,   a honeymoon phase,  a gay adolesence, narcissistic rage and in my case him  going back  in the closet 
Anyway I didnt really believe Sean.., I thought my handsome , highly successful family man would not go down that road ...but he DID exactly that on the timeline Sean predicted
It ended badly. after 18 months . Started with a collection of dildos I insited he throw out escalated the ED.Then I told him that monogamy needed to be ma

Hi  , I unfortunately have to agree with the majority of posts.My ex whom I believe to be 100pc Homosexual was in complete denial of who is really is and identified as bisexial ( to himself by the way not to any women he had relationships with over a 30year span) , Married 10 years , had a psychotic breakdown, then admitted to me he was " bisexual" wanted a MOM, I agreed , he went on a complete high for a few months - gay adolesence as Sean ( other poster callls it) ,then a 6 month honeymoon period with me.. during this time he had complete erectile dysfunction..then became extremely depressed again when I wouldnt do anal with him  ( he could maintain an erection with male porn/fantasy talk/anal toys but it got a bit old for me) ..then became as a result emotionally and physically abusive ( Never before in 10 years) i left him, he blamed me for not "believing in him " , he went for therapy and then told me he was completely "cured " of any gay tendencies and is now dating a woman!!- He can have sex with her I believe, as she is very thin and almost androdgynous looking  , she is new and exciting- but this is his 4th rodeo with long term relationships-  fail, deny, repeat..Once they come out as such they "expect" us to support and applaud this new aspect to their sexuality ,  its impossible, ilogical and a war zone emotionally.Sorry 

Oh I could have written that post myself, almost identical situation, my husband is very handsome, clean , romantic ( now when marriage on the rocks ) and I have fallen completely out of love with him and ANY contact with him - physically- even holding hands causes me severe anxiety
I do not want and will never want him again , not because of infidelity but because I am totally traumatised from the disclosure, the shock , the humiliation , I am religious- more spiritual and truly believe that God will never judge us leaving a toxic situation 
We have one life to live, if we can live authentically that is what our souls journey is for 
Your whole being is saying NO - As is mine, we just need the courage to go now
I know I hurt my husband more now by rejecting him , short term pain for long term gain by leaving the marriage I think 
Stay Strong 
 

Hi Epiphany, your anguish is palpable and I truly feel for you having been in the same situation myself. My marriage wasn't as good as yours before the reveal but I still loved him and believed it could work out as a MOM . However after about 3 months life went on - kids , work etc and the shine of our renewed commitment wore off, I then found myself in the role of Police- going through his drawers/clothes/phone .google for evidence of him being with a man .I became depressed /paranoid , desperate- The more liberties he took - trying to introduce dildos etc turned me right off , his ED is directly due to me being of the wrong gender,  (I  had to role play as a man ) when I suggested that I may meet another man the tables turned and he refused point blank- no man could have me yet wanted to be free to hook up ( he didn't but was doing gay porn endlessly)
So a year later almost, after  reading this forum and the book- I know there is no hope , I'm still slowly detangling ,  the love is gone for me yet he tells me he is more in love than before ( look at actions not words!) 
I read Chumplady.com- and realise that being marriage police/ losing my identity/mental health challenges were not serving me or my children
If our husbands were telling us they wanted to be with women it would be a non runner
This is a very challenging time, there is a grieving period to this , take your time, it is NOT your job to fix him , fix you
Blessings
 

TTSP forgive me for jumping on your business but I could not read and NOT caution you . I am 12 months out from my D day with my husband. The timeline played out EXACTLY as Sean outlined and to be honest I didn't really believe it could get so bad. .He was depressed, went for therapy, disclosed he was Bi but still attracted /in love etc with me , then Lockdown ..trauma bonding between us, things hugely improved, we were happy , then he got bored , decided he was in fact Homosexual ..then disclosed a history of numerous gay sexual encounters- saunas, parks , multiples etc ,( all in his youth before his 1st marriage apparently) , then I discovered his profiles on local hook up sites, dick pics , endless watching of gay porn, complete change in behaviour , verbally abusive, raging , constantly threatening to commit suicide due to self hatred but wont attend counselling.. wont accept that I cant remain in this marriage because  he's impotent and obsessed with men. He is displaying narcissistic traits and behaviours which were somewhat noticeable in our marriage but as time goes by becomes more marked
This is a complete nightmare to navigate through , its a complete mind spin, dark, awful place to be for both parties
Years of hiding his sexuality ( since he was a child) have completely damaged him , He now blames me for not accepting that he should be allowed to have sexual relations with men and remain in our marriage in an attempt to try and and make me feel as bad as him!
He is selfish, unreasonable, incongruent and sexually obsessed ..he is also suicidal ..all behaviours that are unfolding by the day- ones that I would NEVER believed he is capable of 
Be careful , these men , no matter how much we love them , how well they treated us ,or perform in society generally seem to have a very dark and damaged side to them
Read the first aid kit on the forums and use a LOT of discernment with him 
Stay strong and stay well ,mentally and physically