OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / LGBT Identification

**Posted by SusanneH** February 26, 2021 1:01 pm

From as far back as I can remember, teens have always followed the crowd, especially girls. When I was a young teen/teen, it was popular to see “how far you’d go”.....So, that was what everyone was following.

Now, it seems that being bisexual is ‘popular’, so they’re following the crowd with it. It’s a slippery slope here because their entire future is at stake: whether when they’re mature, if they’ll have a spouse? Male or female? Now, they have to make a choice, when just due to popularity, they were dabbling in the bisexual side. I think it’s too confusing for them to deal with at that age. They won’t know which way to turn when they ‘grow up’.
If someone is truly LGBTQ, and not straight, they would at least feel something about it....not just do it to follow the crowd. That is not the reason to identify your sexuality. It has to come from within.
So, my generation grew up promiscuous due to the openness of the ‘60’s and further past it. This generation is going to grow up completely confused, as far as I can see.
I wish them well. Hopefully, some enlightened adults will help educate them & give them some loving direction.

**Posted by Upside** March 7, 2021 11:35 am

Bisexual women with straight male partners least likely to be out, study finds

Researchers asked more than 600 bisexual women (and those who report being attracted to more than one gender) about their mental health, how open they are about their sexuality, their experiences with discrimination, and any symptoms of depression. [...] Among their findings is that bisexual women in relationships with heterosexual cisgender men were least likely to be open about their sexual orientation.

**Posted by lily** March 7, 2021 1:56 pm

I like the bit where some of the bisexual women say they haven't told anyone - what, it doesn't count if it's a survey?

I can't believe the way married bisexual women carry on. whoever said women are the fairer sex should take another look!

as a divorced woman I have been hit on time after time by married women and then when it turns out I'm not like them, I really am straight well then I am being offensive if I don't think they're straight.

**Posted by Gloria** March 7, 2021 2:10 pm

I agree with Suzanne. I think that some teen age girls think that they should be bi sexual. A man told me that his 12 year old daughter was watching youtube videos and declared that she was bi sexual. Her parents no longer allow her to watch youtube.

**Posted by Upside** March 8, 2021 11:45 am

lily wrote:
as a divorced woman I have been hit on time after time by married women and then when it turns out I'm not like them, I really am straight well then I am being offensive if I don't think they're straight.

That's crazy!

A repeated drumbeat that appears in these polls and examples is that people's definitions still differ wildly. Being "straight" to me is at the attraction level, but apparently, some people can sleep with the other sex and still not consider themselves "bi". In my wife's case, she absolutely believed that women didn't count as cheating, emotionally or physically. It is surreal.

The mental gymnastics required here sounds exhausting!

**Posted by lily** March 8, 2021 11:51 pm

yes it is crazy.

it's like, well in recent times I've met a number of these non-straight women who act out as if they have a divine right to denial. and it's not just about their sexuality, it's everything - reality is up for grabs. and also, they all seem to be a bit addicted to conspiracy theories.

it is crazy-making. Until you step back. it is a relief to step back and just see it for what it is, isn't it.

right now I am back to realising how shot to hell my expectations are. my entire adult life I lived with a husband who wasn't attracted to me - it's created a very different expectation to what I had as a teenager.

**Posted by Upside** March 9, 2021 12:30 pm

Love the line "reality is up for grabs". So true!

I very much relate to those shot expectations, Lily. My entire adult life was wasted? Will anyone find value in me? Believing that this malformed and distorted form of intimacy was normal? Allowing my needs to be ignored for decades? Why do I have a growing concern if I could properly function in a normal relationship? Will I caretake another person who will ultimately manipulate me in new ways?

Oddly, the data helps me. It makes the chaos of the world feel ordered. Others have dealt with this and overcome, and so will we!

**Posted by lily** March 10, 2021 5:24 am

thanks Upside.

At 66 years old I really am beginning to feel like I'm getting a bit past it but you are that bit younger and I think you can have every confidence in yourself - do hope you find the right partner and have that happiness.

**Posted by TangledOil** March 10, 2021 4:44 pm

Oh, I wanted to add this...

...the number of trans identifying kids these days (at least where I live) would make your head spin. I know of one family with three kids and all three identify as trans. I know at least a half dozen other kids, middle school and younger, that identify as trans. And pansexual... geez... I hear so many young kids now saying they’re pan now too.

Last edited by TangledOil (March 10, 2021 10:40 pm)

**Posted by SusanneH** March 10, 2021 5:24 pm

TangledOil wrote:
Oh, I wanted to add this...

...the number of trans identifying kids these days (at least where I live) would make your head spin. I know of one family with three kids and all three identify as trans. I know at least a half dozen other kids, middle school and younger, than identify as trans. And pansexual... geez... I hear so many young kids now saying they’re pan now too.

I don’t see how children have the capability to make that decision......not at that age. They aren’t even capable of knowing what it all means. We even hear of adults who don’t even realize they are LGBT until they are 40-50 years old. I can understand they may be confused, however I think if their parents have good parenting skills, they’ll steer them in a direction in a caring way to let them realize it’s something they’ll need to decide when they’re older/more mature. ....IMHO.