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- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
MJ.... Blackie....Anon
I've realised A's going to "drag the chain" and make it difficult. For no other reason than he doesn't have, or want, to do anything to make this easy. Maybe he's waiting for me to leave to make it easier
...on him.
Next lawyers bill I'm paying out of our joint account!
E
KIA KAHA
- ellierigg
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
New here. Love your post and love you. You chose life, and trust in life. Thank you!
- Toward the Light
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
So glad it well well, Elle. And remember that courage doesn’t mean there’s an absence of fear—just that we move forward despite the fear. I’m out of my hell home almost 7 years and still backslide emotionally into “did I do the “right” thing?”— and then recall what Rob references above, the disrespect, dishonesty, deprivation etc. and I hear my soul cry out —“Yes! You did.” Keep faith in the adventure that is life—I do believe you are being led to a more peaceful place no matter what your age. Thinking of you with love and compassion.
- MJM017
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Ellexoh_nz wrote:
Next lawyers bill I'm paying out of our joint account!
E
Very good! He might remember to respond to those emails now.
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
....Very good! He might remember to respond to those emails now.
After 2 emails (that apparently went to his Spam) and a postal letter to him yesterday (I saw it in the letterbox, left it there, he said nothing about it but it was gone this morning) A. has replied to my lawyer who emailed me and said "it doesn’t seem like he wants to have discussions about how the property be divided, preferring that you and I simply come up with a proposal."
A. came into my life on a quiet wave and it seems like the tide will go out just as calmly...leaving me as superfluous to his life like he often made me feel.
At the moment I'm trying to keep all my possessions confined to my bedroom. There are boxes in there, lists in my head, memories laid over everything, the minutiae of my day to day existence.
I take many deep breaths.
I will not cry, I don't need the hurdle of emotion. That can wait til I'm gone
E
KIA KAHA
- •
Thread Starter- Grace1958
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
You're doing great. Such strength. The road will be bumpy but you will find your way. Wishing you peace
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
You're doing great. Such strength. The road will be bumpy but you will find your way. Wishing you peace
❤️
KIA KAHA
- •
Thread Starter- Charting My Path
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Elle,
Be careful not to start with what you think is a 50/50 proposal. A might use that to start negotiations with. My Ex went through mediation with me and I made compromises here and there to get it done then she and her attorney used the mediated agreement as my opening position from which they could get me to make further compromises.
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previously Itsabouther
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Elle,
Be careful not to start with what you think is a 50/50 proposal. A might use that to start negotiations with. My Ex went through mediation with me and I made compromises here and there to get it done then she and her attorney used the mediated agreement as my opening position from which they could get me to make further compromises.
My lawyer has asked me in for a meeting to discuss it all next week. When I think he earns a lot of money, and I will be on the pittance of NZ Superannuation I should get more but this whole thing feels weird and I'm feeling pretty down 
E
KIA KAHA
- •
Thread Starter- MJM017
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
My lawyer has asked me in for a meeting to discuss it all next week. When I think he earns a lot of money, and I will be on the pittance of NZ Superannuation I should get more but this whole thing feels weird and I'm feeling pretty down
E
The whole divorce process is very weird and depressing. I'll add surreal. It felt like I was out of my body watching someone else. I wanted the divorce, like you.
This is your only try to get what's fair. I doubt that you'll ask for more than you think is rightfully yours. Dig deep down and ask for what's just to you. Your lawyer has experience with dragging their heels stbx's, passive aggressives. Am guessing she has a lot of wisdom (and strategies) to share.
Finances are the last hurdle. Once it's done, that's it. You're almost there.
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa