OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


BE A DONOR >>>


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



October 15, 2021 3:35 am  #11


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Helpme25 wrote:

I want to leave and start my life over.. but because we do have children I feel to hurt breaking our family up they need there father in there life’s I guess I feel stuck and yes unhappy

You and the kids minus one fuckwit is a family.  Kids need a sane and stable parent who is looking out for them.  That would be you.

My family is me and my five kids.  My kids have all decided they don't need him in their lives. He chose another path. None of us want to live with his chaos fucking up our lives.

 

October 15, 2021 4:49 pm  #12


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Hello Helpme25,

Am so sorry you find yourself here.  My late GIDXH was the perfect fiance who morphed into an abusive and rebellious teenager after our marriage. I am very glad he's been out of my life for a few years.

If you don't mind me asking, is your husband a great father emotionally? Is he patient, kind, loving to your child? Does he enjoy spending time with your child? Is your husband helping you through your pregnancy. Is he concerned and taking concrete action to ensure you have a safe and healthy pregnancy? That's just as important as the financials.

Just my opinion, but it is smart to keep your life as is until your child is born and doing well. Reassess your life at that point. What seems like a very bad and impossible situation now is not. It just feels that way.

Take care of yourself and your little family. Write as much as you wish.

Best,
Maria


 


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

October 17, 2021 3:12 pm  #13


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Blue Bear wrote:

I’ll cut to the chase.  He’s not straight, and sounds like he’s mentally destroying you.

A better husband you do deserve.

He definitely mentally destroyed me
I don’t know how to get out
As for a new husband I can’t trust around my daughter

     Thread Starter
 

October 17, 2021 3:14 pm  #14


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Soaplife wrote:

Helpme25 wrote:

I want to leave and start my life over.. but because we do have children I feel to hurt breaking our family up they need there father in there life’s I guess I feel stuck and yes unhappy

You and the kids minus one fuckwit is a family.  Kids need a sane and stable parent who is looking out for them.  That would be you.

My family is me and my five kids.  My kids have all decided they don't need him in their lives. He chose another path. None of us want to live with his chaos fucking up our lives.

I try to be the best for my child but some days is harder than others

     Thread Starter
 

October 17, 2021 3:15 pm  #15


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

MJM017 wrote:

Hello Helpme25,

Am so sorry you find yourself here.  My late GIDXH was the perfect fiance who morphed into an abusive and rebellious teenager after our marriage. I am very glad he's been out of my life for a few years.

If you don't mind me asking, is your husband a great father emotionally? Is he patient, kind, loving to your child? Does he enjoy spending time with your child? Is your husband helping you through your pregnancy. Is he concerned and taking concrete action to ensure you have a safe and healthy pregnancy? That's just as important as the financials.

Just my opinion, but it is smart to keep your life as is until your child is born and doing well. Reassess your life at that point. What seems like a very bad and impossible situation now is not. It just feels that way.

Take care of yourself and your little family. Write as much as you wish.

Best,
Maria


 

I don’t know what to do I guess he is supportive through this pregnancy

     Thread Starter
 

October 22, 2021 4:07 pm  #16


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Helpme25 wrote:

Blue Bear wrote:

I’ll cut to the chase.  He’s not straight, and sounds like he’s mentally destroying you.

A better husband you do deserve.

He definitely mentally destroyed me
I don’t know how to get out
As for a new husband I can’t trust around my daughter

Don't worry about finding a new husband just yet.  I was just trying to say that in terms of having a "husband", the one you have seems to suck.  Worry about getting out fo the relationship with the husband you currently have.  Visit a lawyer (don't tell him you are doing this) and start planning.  It's a brutal journey, but it was worth it for me.

 

October 23, 2021 8:45 pm  #17


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

longwayhome wrote:

Helpme25 wrote:

Blue Bear wrote:

I’ll cut to the chase.  He’s not straight, and sounds like he’s mentally destroying you. A better husband you do deserve.

He definitely mentally destroyed me
I don’t know how to get out
As for a new husband I can’t trust around my daughter

Helpme, I fully agree you need to do some planning, but that can be challenging under these types of situations. Your comment above, concerns me a little bit. Can you clarify what you mean when you say, ‘I don’t know how to get out’?

One day at a time. Take care.

Because of my children I am afraid to lose them I am afraid to co parent I am afraid of breaking our family apart because of him being gay is a big deal however I feel I am being selfish to do so

     Thread Starter
 

October 23, 2021 8:46 pm  #18


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Blue Bear wrote:

Helpme25 wrote:

Blue Bear wrote:

I’ll cut to the chase.  He’s not straight, and sounds like he’s mentally destroying you.

A better husband you do deserve.

He definitely mentally destroyed me
I don’t know how to get out
As for a new husband I can’t trust around my daughter

Don't worry about finding a new husband just yet.  I was just trying to say that in terms of having a "husband", the one you have seems to suck.  Worry about getting out fo the relationship with the husband you currently have.  Visit a lawyer (don't tell him you are doing this) and start planning.  It's a brutal journey, but it was worth it for me.

Yes. I am not worried about a new husband I don’t think of re marrying however I am still young and probably will do so but a lawyer sounds like a good idea thank you!

     Thread Starter
 

October 23, 2021 11:34 pm  #19


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Hi helpme,

Am very glad you will be consulting a family law attorney to know what your legal and financial rights are. You need to be reassured of your custody rights as a mother.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

November 4, 2021 10:00 pm  #20


Re: I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Guys.. I found texts between husband and the friend  I was talking about my husband said ‘bring that ass’ and he replied with ‘wow you want it again’. I’m very devastated because everything I felt and always had in the back of my mind is true.

     Thread Starter
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum