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- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
straightwifeinNZ wrote:
Straightwife... How did I miss your post! I'm so sorry! I've always hoped there'd be another Kiwi here...and when there was
...I missed you.
How is your journey...are you well?
Again...my apologies
Elle
Edited to say....I have direct-messaged you
Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (April 14, 2023 1:11 pm)
KIA KAHA
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Well..!!!
An email from my lawyer came last night....saying that she'd had no response to the email she'd sent to A (on March 15!!!) about the separation. He hasn't said one fucking word to me about it. He knows I intend moving out, seems all fine with the fact but it's like he feels it's not relevant to him ~!@#$%^
Every email the lawyer sends to me costs me money. Every email she has to send to him on my behalf costs me. I'm so pissed off.
I've mentioned before my reluctance to engage with him face to face and thought doing all this by email would be handy for a man who doesn't like to face things, **and it's doubly ridiculous that we're living in the same house ffs!!!!!! **
Because all this is costing money (and he has plenty to spare whereas I'm trying to do this on the few thousand of my own I have tucked away) I'm thinking "is he planning something, waiting til I have left?" I don't know...grrr
There is a community lawyer (no cost) I can see today so I hope I can get some advice.
Apart from the legal hold-up everything seems to be tracking well for my move
Edited to say.....the community law session seemed to be a lot of older people wanting to discuss Power of Attourneys and Wills so I didn't get to ask questions. Never mind....sigh
I emailed my lawyer and told her "email him again"
E
Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (April 18, 2023 10:14 pm)
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- Rob
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Elle,
It was a sick, alternate moral and financial universe as I divorced my GX...It made me cry...
Triggering for me so I'll stop there..but it's typical for divorcing these not normal spouses. It's expensive to get away from abusive narcissists and sociopaths..
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Blackie563
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Well..!!!
An email from my lawyer came last night....saying that she'd had no response to the email she'd sent to A (on March 15!!!) about the separation. He hasn't said one fucking word to me about it. He knows I intend moving out, seems all fine with the fact but it's like he feels it's not relevant to him ~!@#$%^
Every email the lawyer sends to me costs me money. Every email she has to send to him on my behalf costs me. I'm so pissed off.
I've mentioned before my reluctance to engage with him face to face and thought doing all this by email would be handy for a man who doesn't like to face things, **and it's doubly ridiculous that we're living in the same house ffs!!!!!! **
This has been my experience. She moved out of the bedroom in August last year, never stayed in the house when I was there since December and we moved into separate homes in March. Think she has signed the papers yet?? Nope. She won't do it and now wants a clause to revisit MY income every year so she can get more as I make more. Not enough to have an affair, lie about it, tell people you're gay for sympathy, while fucking men and having online profiles exclusively looking for men, while pushing her new gf on the kids on the very first day we moved into separate homes. Yeah, these people are disgusting in their behavior and only care of themselves, no one else. I'd say buckle up, it's going to be a long ride. I thought I was done but she went 5+ weeks with no response and only recently responded. I gave her until tomorrow or the entire deal is off and we go to court. Lots more money for both of us and about another 1-1.5 years. She simply doesn't care, its the only way she can keep me around, despite all she has done.
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Elle,
As every email your lawyer sends to you and to him costs YOU money, might it be time to stop trying to accommodate his desire not "to face things" and engage "face to face"?
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (April 20, 2023 7:51 pm)
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
....
A. will not want all this...a separation and exposure that all was not well between us. And his answer.... to bury his head in the sand....is typical. He's such an intelligent man but in this he's just hopeless
....
You're probably...no, you are right. I will
have to prepare for the conversation though, it's not something I want to do
Elle
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- MJM017
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Elle, Passive aggressive behavior and being in the closet must go hand-in-hand. My late GIDXH probably got a just as big of a rush out of this as picking up random men in public restrooms.
Is there any legal penalty for your stbx if he keeps avoiding this? Is this something you can live without an answer to? Don't waste your money on a cow who refuses to give you milk. It may be a better use of your money to discuss strategies with your lawyer to get around his refusal to cooperate.
Or, you can involve your own creativity. Sense when he's tired (weak) and go from there.
I hope you can make some headway with this. 🍀
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa
- Anon2222
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Elle. I feel yah. When my stbx made his declaration he was full on gung ho divorce within a minute type of thing. It has now been 8 months and nothing has happened. I saw a lawyer, and put together what I was thinking. And thus far I haven't gotten anything in return.
Unfortunately I don't have any helpful advice (I wish I did). But, you are most definitely not alone.
- MJM017
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Maybe it's just me but foot dragging is manipulative while appearing not to be. I found it to be a balancing act to keep my moral values intact while leaving an abusive and dishonest partner.
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa
- Blackie563
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Maybe it's just me but foot dragging is manipulative while appearing not to be. I found it to be a balancing act to keep my moral values intact while leaving an abusive and dishonest partner.
I agree completely. It's a way to prolong things and keep a hold of their "old life" until they are ready to move on publicly in their new life. It's truly pathetic. No consideration for all of the damage they are doing to others who are simply trying to move on with their lives.