"found some of the comments in here quite difficult, as there is an underlying belief that being a transgender person means being mentally ill, and also, that there probably is a hidden sexual activity behind it and stuff like that" "I did not find these suggestions helpful at all."

Trunte, I'm sorry this all seems harsh to you. I truly am. People's unvarnished truth can be harsh and hard to digest.

Yes, most people sans far left indoctrination in marxist ideals view it as a mental condition mediated by sexual means. Men cannot be/feel/know what it's like to be female anymore than they can be/feel/know what it's like to be a cat. Men and women share humanity and what is common to humanity. We don't share biology, socialization, life experience, or life roles. We don't share priviledge. We don't share cultural catering. These basic understandings are seated in a reality that surpasses individual feelings.

Depression is a terrible thing, no doubt about it. But how can depression manifest from an impossibility?

These are the things that people understand on very fundamental levels. Things that contradict the twisting and folding of intellect, science, and existence into the delusional origami of blind acceptance or emotionally based self-deceptive rationalizations.

Truth is unyielding. It offers little in the way of emotional comfort at its beginning. It is typically only with time that we appreciate inconvenient truth and the value it holds.

Some of the people here are merely speaking from the other side of the beginning of inconvenient truth. They are speaking toned with time and fuller understanding, that's all.

Best to you.

"When I first started posting here, I maintained that that I loved my (then) wife. That was a lie. I loved my closet, the approval of others, and having a beard more than I ever loved my wife and children. So what's my point? This forum helps straight spouses see reality"

Sounds like you got your own dose of reality. ;)

Truth is healthy for all and will eventually find it's way to the light. What has this truth provided you, Sean?

Cheers

Eliza,

Boy can I relate to this. The "I'm fixing it all" sentiments, the "we can repair this", the "why don't you believe me", the "it's all due to my life being so fucked up"...all of it.

Eliza, I can't really offer you anything other than I'm so sorry, and I'm right next to you. Same boat, same everything it sounds like. Even down to the "kids" (we have a two year old).

I hear you, and I feel you.

Interesting weekend I've had. He spent the weekend professing his adamant belief that this is all porn escalation, and he's going to prove it by changing everything and "rebooting his brain". Then he gives me a book he ordered on neuroplasticity.

He's stating his porn use is over. His public objectifying is over. His fantasy life is over. His lying is over.

He's now going to "undo" all the conditioning he's done to himself, and get back to the "real" him.

Please, please, please, seek a new therapist. Keep in mind that a therapist is merely a person. As a person they are subject to their own thoughts/feelings/foibles when it comes to how they ply their trade. Some are better than others, some fall far short of what would be considered beneficial.

Therapists of caliber tend to not mix their personal beliefs, spiritual beliefs, or ideas of success outcomes, but will instead strive for what is healthy for their clients.