OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.
| Support » jkpeace -- I answered your emails! » July 19, 2016 1:59 pm |
- Sue
- Replies: 0
-
Didn't even realize we had an inbox on the new forum (which is nifty and awesome!) -- so just saw your emails and responded.
Love and peace,
Sue
| Support » Gender Issues » July 19, 2016 1:37 pm |
- Sue
- Replies: 8
-
I feel like I'm being so harsh whenever I type this, but I heard it here first, and I needed to hear it.
It's time to consider your life without your spouse. What do you want? He's already gone. First they leave in their minds, then they leave for real or they stay and expect you to play along.
This was not part of your marriage agreement. It hurts like hell when it ends, but it does get better. And you deserve a life and the love of a straight, non--trans person.
Keep reading and posting. This forum kept me upright during the worst of my split from my gay almost-ex.
Sue
| Support » Getting off ADs » July 18, 2016 7:32 am |
- Sue
- Replies: 22
-
Keepinghope,
I'm so glad you're titrating ... and I understand about anniversaries. My first (since he left) is coming up in about a month and my therapist mentioned it may be hard. She sort of put me on the lookout.
Sue
| Support » Getting off ADs » July 17, 2016 1:08 pm |
- Sue
- Replies: 22
-
Keepinghope,
Generally your doctor should have you titrating slowly off the meds. Going cold turkey is generally not a good idea.
Sue
| Support » Pomp and Circumstance (shes finally gone). » July 17, 2016 1:05 pm |
- Sue
- Replies: 21
-
Rob,
I am SO GLAD she's gone. Do you all have a shared parenting schedule she has to follow? Don't put yourself down. I had a friend tell me as much as she was happy to be rid of her cheating husband, when the final paperwork arrived in the mail, she cried buckets right in front of the post office box. It's the end of a huge part of your life. But it will feel better, soon.
Sue
| General Discussion » Didn't know » July 17, 2016 1:02 pm |
- Sue
- Replies: 16
-
JK,
I question that you need to become a better person at all. This process is full of pain and devastation. I truly wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. Almost a year in, I find I feel more hope, but it's still up and down. I'll take up and down over down all the time any day!
Be kind to yourself. This is a hard row to hoe. But it does get better.
Sue
| Support » Getting off ADs » July 15, 2016 4:13 pm |
- Sue
- Replies: 22
-
No. I never had weight gain issues. I do have trouble reaching orgasm through just regular sex (sorry if tmi), but I've been on Paxil since I became sexually active, so it may very well be that that is just me (I have friends not on ADs with the same issue.) I have an anxiety disorder and Paxil seems to be the best for me.
| Is He/She Gay » Not sure, no true signs but frightened! » July 15, 2016 4:09 pm |
- Sue
- Replies: 10
-
I don't mean to sound blunt, but you are ALREADY in hell. Hell on Earth and I don't believe God or your church would want you to stay in this marriage.
| General Discussion » Didn't know » July 15, 2016 4:07 pm |
- Sue
- Replies: 16
-
And one day, when you are ready, you will reach acceptance of the fact that this relationship is over. You will move on, meet a straight woman who can truly love and appreciate you and be a good stepmother to your beloved child. But it only happens when you're ready.
| General Discussion » I'm new: Does anyone know anyone who has stayed and been happy? » July 14, 2016 5:14 pm |
- Sue
- Replies: 23
-
Oh, JK. I have felt EVERYTHING you describe. I was a SAHM. I depended on him financially. I thought we'd be married forever. I had NO CLUE about TGT. He got to keep his highly successful career, while I got fired from my unpaid one. The betrayal and sadness and anger are so intense.
You have to let yourself feel it all, and forgive yourself. Even when it affects your kids. We are not made of stone. We have emotions, and we aren't perfect. I always want to smack anyone with the advice to be strong for your kids. Of course you do your best by your kids, but this is REAL TRAUMA. You muddle through and you get help and you do the best you can. And as you re-stabilize, which takes different amounts of time for different people, your emotions settle. The flare-ups of anger and tears come less often. And they last a shorter amount of time.
Please be kind to yourself. A horrible betrayal of your trust and your personhood has taken place. You will be the mother you want to be again and the person you want to be again, but not overnight.
Hang in there. I know how hard this is. We all do.