Thank you, SW. My mom seems to have a box she puts all her hurt away in and then moves forward. I am probably overly emotive and tend to process through talking and crying. She doesn't understand going through the same things over and over, as she puts it. In some ways she is a great help to me (I don't have to be alone so much, which I find a very easy place to slip into depression), but as far as emotions go she just can't do it.

I would eventually like her to get a place of her own, but we don't know how all that will work until my divorce financials become clearer, which is months down the road. Also I feel very guilty bc I know she misses our hometown and she made a huge sacrifice to come here. She lived in a much larger city and we don't have the same amenities here. And I can't leave bc my kids are here.

I feel I should be much more independent, but I've never lived alone and certainly have never lived through something like this. She has and I'm guessing deep down feels I should be able to, as well. One thing she doesn't get is the shock of TBT, which for me has been enormous bc I had no clue it was coming. I still have trouble looking ahead and all seems very bleak between not seeing my kids as much, having to go back to work (and seeing the kids even less), the court fight my lawyer anticipates over alimony, having zero single friends here, etc. I want to feel hope, but still feel shocked to the core. Having someone with me through this, especially to help pick up and drop off kids once I start working seems essential right now.

Sometimes everything is fine, but then other times she just gets over me and says I purposefully pick the worst times to break down, which is utter nonsense. And if you try to talk with her, she gets up and walks off. We have never been close because of her behavior, but I truly have no other family to help me here. I so wish I could move back home, but then I would lose the kids except for summers. I've spent too many years

Thank you, Gail😍

They just left. I can't stop crying. And i can't even look him in the face. I start to shake when I know he's coming. I feel like a rape victim -- rape of the soul. I keep thinking he lied for 20 years and it hurts so bad. I honestly need a break from the kids but not for an entire week. I want to be stronger, but I hurt so bad. They didn't see me cry.

How could this person I trusted do this to my life? Take everything -- my kids, my home, my stupid car, my life as a SAHM. Then blame me for everything? I just can't believe I'm living this nightmare.

It only shows up on desktop format, not mobile. But you can toggle to desktop while on a mobile. Desktop seems much easier to use.

Well my husband signed the dissolution papers to file for divorce on our 19th anniversary and I got served today.

I cried buckets in the shower.

I want the hurt to stop. I'm scared. I don't know how to be a single parent to 3 kids. All my dreams of the future have been obliterated. I'm trying to find a job for the first time in 10 years.

It just sucks. There is no betrayal like this imaginable. How could he lie to me for 20 years? It blows my mind and heart. And how in the hell will I find joy or trust again?

Those papers made it all so fucking real. I'm somewhere between sadness and wanting to rip his fucking head off. Or at least hold a gun to his throat so he can see what I've felt like every day since he left 9 months ago.

Life has to get better than this.

My kids need strong mom, but I can't compete with the Disney dad show going on at daddy and his bf's house. And now my 13 year old has decided she's a lesbian, hates me, and her stupid father can't even see how hard she's trying to hold on to him in case he abandons her again.

This sucks so completely.