Straight Spouse Network Open Forum
This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else. Learn more >>>

DONATE TODAY >>>

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. The results from SSN’s Annual Summer Donation Drive are in! Together with your help, SSN raised $16,381 during our annual Summer Donation Drive! That’s 109% of our goal! Learn more about how the funds will be utilized.

DONATE TODAY >>>





Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.


Happy New Year, Friends!

Our year-end fundraising campaign is officially complete and with your generous help we raised $13,813 to serve straight spouses in need. From all of us at SSN, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.

BE A DONOR >>>

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June 12, 2016 11:06 am  #1


Registering

Keep in mind that if you decide to register a couple things can happen.

First - your username gets reserved so no one can come along anonymously and post under the same name as you. (I forgot to log in and couldn't post as the board told me there was already a user of that name.)

Second - your registered user name can be clicked on and we can see anything you want public such as location and website. We can also see how many posts you made, show them all and see when you were last online.

Third - you can opt in or out of private messages.

Fourth - if you start a thread you can opt to receive notifications when someone replies. (Obviously you must have an email address associated with your username for this to work.)

There are other things too like signatures and we can do links and polls but i expect everyone will figure that stuff out as we go.

Just found a fifth I didn't think about - you can edit your old posts!

Last edited by Daryl (June 12, 2016 12:28 pm)


“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
 

June 14, 2016 1:47 am  #2


Re: Registering

I have tried and failed to find any support.  I have never fully recovered from my ex coming out as a transsexual many years ago and I am currently having a crisis. I think I am still the vulnerable person I was when we met.  My life is a disaster area and I think I have made a total mess of bringing up my daughters. I am so desperately unhappy and lonely. Bless my dog as it is him who keeps me going.

 

June 14, 2016 7:45 pm  #3


Re: Registering

Depending on where you live, finding support can be hard. Fortunately the users here understand and SSN has resources you can access from their main website. You should start your own thread in the Support category and relay as much of your story as you care to share. There is a lot of wisdom here. And yes, pets help. Mine was invaluable in the early days.


“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
     Thread Starter
 

June 14, 2016 9:07 pm  #4


Re: Registering

JK

Post your plea as a new thread in the support section.. 

You are not alone.  Your more worthy and valuable than you will ever know.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

June 15, 2016 1:17 am  #5


Re: Registering

How do you register

 

June 15, 2016 6:27 pm  #6


Re: Registering

There should be a User Registration somewhere in the top part of the forum. I don't recall exactly what it looks like as I now automatically log-in. (Maybe not a good idea on a shared computer if you require some discretion at the moment.) It's a judgment call for each person's situation.


“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
     Thread Starter
 

June 15, 2016 9:13 pm  #7


Re: Registering

It only shows up on desktop format, not mobile. But you can toggle to desktop while on a mobile. Desktop seems much easier to use.


"You want a man who messes up your lipstick, not your mascara."
 

February 10, 2021 10:39 am  #8


Re: Registering

My husband came out in January and we are still living together because of the pandemic and money. He has now asked that we stay living together as a family longer and just see how it goes.  He does not want us to be in a relationship together but friends living together co parenting for now and when we are more stable and have moved on to new ppl take it from there.

I really dont know what to think. Any help and advice welcome please

Help!

 

February 10, 2021 12:57 pm  #9


Re: Registering

It's quite common for our newly out spouses to temporize in this way.  They want to retain the comfort and security of the known, and often still want our support and care (and our financial contribution), as well as the freedom to explore their newly declared sexual orientation.  

In my opinion, it's extremely selfish, and supremely dismissive of our feelings that the blow their announcement has raised in us.  We can't simply turn the dial from "spouse" to "roommate," and it's unreasonable to expect it.  That they can do this, and so easily, is itself another blow.  It's also disingenuous to suggest "co-parenting" while living together is somehow "best" for the children; to see parents become roommates is disorienting, not a more healthy choice than actual separation, which has the benefit of clarity and preparation for the future. 

I would ask you to shift your attention from him and what he wants, and why he wants it, and think about how you feel, what you want and need.  I would also suggest that you find yourself a confidante in your life--a friend or relative--you can talk to, and a counselor/therapist just for you, to help you sort out your feelings.  Also, visit a lawyer, so that you can have a clear picture of the options open to you--legal separation, a temporary order for child support, etc.  Knowing your options can help you make a decision about what is best for you.  

 

 

 

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