Last April I discovered by chance that my spouse of 8 years watches gay porn and after going through his email I found that he sent emails to people on Craigslist to meet then in 2018 and 2019 ,he also met and slept with someone before we got married and exposed me to syphilis when I was pregnant .I also found emails from him to a psychiatrist before marriage trying to covert him self to a straight man !

He claims that he never met anyone during marriage ...we had lots of disagreements,he claims to be religious and very much into his culture,his parents are very controlling and live next door to us while I drive 2 hours per day to work because they didn't like the town where I work so he decided to move all of us to where they like to live.

Fast forward I filed for divorce ,he signed giving me 75% custody of our kids, and I added in the settlement that he knows I will relocate for training .


Now I accepted a training position in another state and planning to move in the next couple of months.

I'm terrified he will try to prevent me from taking this job

He did that previously when we were married which resulted in me delaying my career dream for 5 years .

Now I'm struggling with a change in personal life a divorce, kids ,a change in career and location

I think I'm so scared occasionally I literally feel paralyzed while he goes to attend concerts .I have a psychiatrist but honestly i feel no one understands what I'm going through, especially when he starts mentioning that he purchased a gun and returned it.

I hope I can make this work

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Lostperson wrote:

Thanks ..he loves the kids I have no doubt but I think he is just pressuring me and he knows how it hurts when I'm away from them.

He tells me that he is trying to advocate for himself .

 
Do you think he's advocating for himself because he is apprehensive about 'outing' himself to more people?

E

I'm not sure ! Sometimes I feel I'm being too harsh on him ..and maybe he just really wants to be with the kids ...

I wish I can protect my kids...I wish I chose any different person...I wish he was publicly terrible so I can end this misery ...

The problem is sometimes he is nice and sometimes he is awful .The inconsistency makes me doubt everything .

freedmyself wrote:

Hi Lost, 

All of this is extremely disorienting! I'll add my voice to those suggesting you see a lawyer.  
It's hard to believe while you're in the middle of the mess like you are, but there is greater sanity on the other side of separation and divorce.  It took time and quite a bit of inner work and lots of therapy for me to feel like I was starting to move on. 

Thank you for responding .

Yes I have a lawyer and my soon to be an ex he signed to have 25% physical custody and 75% is mine but it feels that he is forcing his way to 50%

He wants 50% and to use the kids to fight me .