Rob wrote:

No.

I can see how really badly she treated me..narcisstic. always made up drama and made up difficulties.
Another reason..how scary that if I got sick or injured she was capable of discarding me in an instant.

Capable of so much malevolent hurt.

I would never want to go back even if the gay was forgotten..there would be all the other immorals and hurt..that even if I was oblivious to would harm me. I can see now the lack of unconditional love that I received...to live in that again, even if oblivious..no I have too much self love and respect now. It's like I lived but had been joining her in hurting me.
To live that life again with an insatiable wife..it would kill me.

No, I thank God everyday for saving me from a marriage that was clearly broken ..my strong fierce love could not fix what was happening to me. I could not see it but he could.

wow, it’s almost like you’ve just read my mind, she still doesn’t realise how narcissistic her words, thoughts and selfish actions were. No good for anyone’s mental health let alone mine. Tried to support her but realised that I just wasn’t qualified to be her therapist.
 

lily wrote:

glad to hear it Clem.  imo it is probably her way of 'making a living' I have been caught a number of times giving a hand to one of these women who I think is very nice and maybe needs a helping hand right now, only to find she wants an arm and a leg to go with it.  

I am very sorry to hear you have had such a bad accident.  I am hoping you have family around.

wishing you all the best

thanks lily thankfully I do have family around who have been amazingly supportive around my exes desire for exclusivity 

 

Upside wrote:

Thank you for clarifying these details, Itsclem. From my perspective, this timeline is scary.

She lacks introspection. Her inability to find out what she likes is causing you significant pain. This confusion is unlikely to stop here, as indecision seems to be her destination.

Saying she "needed the male form" is a weird, legalese way to say she wanted a relationship. It sounds like she wanted to have sex with a man after an extended break.

Her confusion would be fine if she just was realizing that she liked peanut butter more than chocolate. But she is admitting that having sex with a woman wouldn't be enough to keep her happy. She can't fathom living without an actual relationship with a woman.

Now all of this is bad news. She is confused about herself. She needs to be in a relationship with a woman and you are a man. But then...

Your accident. In your most vulnerable time of need, the exact month you are in critical condition, her mind is thinking about women. I'd leave just on this point alone. The lack of care shown for you is disgusting. 

One pattern I've seen in cheating circles is that when a partner is mentioning opening a relationship then a potential partner is already in view. She isn't thinking in the abstract about sex, she's thinking specifically about a relationship with a person she knows. I would bet money that she acted on her impulses while you were in the hospital. This is how she knows just sex won't be enough.

In my opinion, she sounds like she feeds off of this chaos. Hers. Yours. This partners. My fear is that she's using you for financial stability while she finds the next (female) partner. Or that she cons you into being her stable resource while she can play. This is a common pattern here as well. If there is a chance of a payout due to your accident then she may be waiting for this to hit also.

Sorry for this long reply. I could be way off base, but this is my belief against what you have shared. It's

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