Welcome to the club that no one wants to join. "What do I do now?" you ask. Let me make some suggestions:

1) If you have not already done so get tested for this any every other sexually transmitted disease. You want to be in the best possible health you can be to move forward so if you are having difficulty with depression and/or anxiety tell your doctor so that medications can be prescribed.

2) Make a list of monthly household income and expenses and a separate list of assets and liabilities. Make copies of your deed or lease and of vehicle titles; insurance policies; bank statements and debt contracts.

3) Get a free credit report to make sure that you have not overlooked anything and to discover if there are accounts in your name that you did not open.

4) Consult an attorney to learn your rights in the jurisdiction where you live.

5} Focus on you. Take time for yourself. Take a walk, visit a friend etc - things that make you feel good.
Contact the Straight Spouse Network to see if there is a face-to-face support group near you. The group members may know of counselors whom they found helpful can share this information with you. He will be put in contact with support groups: you need one for you as a straight spouse, NOT one for spouses/partners of HIV patients which probably will focus more on how to remain a couple living with the his disease.

Keep coming back to this board. Hopefully the administrator will find a way to give you your own thread. and then you will get more feedback.