OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / I confess

**Posted by Cat** January 13, 2017 1:44 pm

I confess that i dont love myself like i should...

**Posted by Steve** January 13, 2017 5:17 pm

When we feel undervalued by others we can begin to undervalue ourselves. It's a byproduct of abuse. When you are constantly told you aren't good enough or made to feel that way it eventually sinks into our own psychology.

Many of us eventually have a revelation. The revelation that we ARE good enough and always have been. The revelation that the problem lay elsewhere.

I hope you can find a way to love yourself again Cat. Turn the negative thoughts around. Reject the rejection. Accept the love. One day at a time rebuild your sense of self and self-worth. You can do it!!!

**Posted by Cat** January 13, 2017 5:30 pm

Thank you Steve. I do try and i am starting to get alittle better at it. Confession from a struggling heart.

**Posted by lily** January 13, 2017 5:50 pm

oh Steve, what a lovely post. very true and very good advice. we've all had to do it, haven't we.

**Posted by vicky** January 13, 2017 6:37 pm

Steve,
I hadn't thought of it that way but I suspect you're right that it's a by-product of emotional abuse. I put myself last to everyone else and ran myself ragged. The past few months I realized that I too deserve to be happy. How basic is that? So basic it's embarrassing to think that I didn't know it. Once you realize it it's like a flood gate. I was able to calmly said I wanted to separate. I wasn't 'staying for the kids'. This was no longer working for me, my needs are important too.

Since then we're still living together and we're going to counselling. I don't know to what end at the moment, to be honest I'm more likely to separate based on his behaviour and not on TGT. TGT thing didn't sting as much as the emotional toll he's taken on me.

Vicky

**Posted by LC** January 14, 2017 2:15 am

OMGOODNESS LOL
Some of these confessions have me laughing.
Good to have some fun and laugh!

**Posted by LC** January 14, 2017 2:24 am

Sunflower1,
Please find someone to talk to, this absolutely made my heart hurt when I read your confession. Everyone here has had hopeless feelings, but they do pass. We are here, but I think there would be an added benefit of finding someone in your area to talk to. HUGS, take it day by day. Tackle today, tomorrow will take care of itself.
May God Bless you with Peace
LC

**Posted by maresyd** January 14, 2017 6:24 am

I confess that the day I moved out, I found all of his "secret" weed he used to smoke to escape, and hid it in all other places. I also replaced the scotch with olive oil.
I still laugh thinking how hard he must have looked for things after I left, because it was always my fault when he couldn't find things in the house.

Sorry, not sorry!

**Posted by Dee** January 14, 2017 8:09 am

Omg, that's hilarious

**Posted by Keepinghope** January 14, 2017 2:24 pm

I confess that I took pictures of all the nasty evidence I found, and the phone and text logs, condoms etc. and make a big collage on the wall for him to find. I was out of my head with rage and despair at the time, and I never raged at him, except for leaving his wall of shame. He took it down and never said a word about it, but he knew what I knew... and our marriage was done. Months later I found all those pictures in his car, and I secretly disposed of them. Kind of a sad testimony to our communication style.