OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Shredding the past

**Posted by Norah** March 18, 2024 11:27 pm

Today I shredded my massive journal that I’ve had since 2016. The journal was my safe haven during tumultuous periods and it does not serve a purpose anymore. It is full of gaslighting, lack of respect, confusion, anger, sadness, shame and pain. A want for revenge and the karma bus to arrive. It helped me to unleash raw feelings that scared me, helped with processing and allowed clarification that I wasn’t crazy with specific incidences and confirmed my gut and intuition was spot on. There’s a lot of mindfuckery in it. I included the hoovering tactics after the 2022 no contact.
It comes to a point where, it’s enough! It’s been on a shelf. Now it’s time..to erase. Well, of course it’ will never be forgotten. It reminds me of in 2017 that I shredded every single picture of him in my shredder. Today was a ceremony.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** March 19, 2024 1:20 pm

Well done Norah

I started a diary (online) in 2013. It was full of everything that was in yours.

I was so happy when I could finally look at it and decide it was no longer relevant because
everything in it was already, sadly, in my memory.....it was simply not holding me back anymore

Elle

**Posted by Rob** March 20, 2024 4:27 am

Way to go Norah and Ellexoh!

Today, I burned college love letters I found from her. I did not read them. Letters that so ensnared me into half a life with a person whose written and spoken words were not really true.

We can't erase the past but we can leave it behind.

Last edited by Rob (March 20, 2024 4:27 am)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** March 20, 2024 1:52 pm

Rob wrote:
Today, I burned college love letters.....

I'm trying to downscale my things at the moment and I had too big containers with photos and letters....to be fair not all to do with my former partner though. Really I want to decrease my footprint/my memories before I can't do it myself or leave it for my kids to do when I'm gone. Getting rid of belongings and memories I've held on to for years.

Anyway...I wish we had a fireplace so the letters can go up in smoke. The thought of somebody's eye being caught by the emotional words in a letter written at my lowest makes me cringe. Setting a flame to it all seems the answer!
Or soak it all in a bucket of water til it's mush! Then throw it out.

I'm rambling....lol
The truth is I feel forgotten by my family and the stuff I held on to for years because I've treasured it seems to mean something to only me and that makes me sad.

E

**Posted by Anon2222** March 22, 2024 11:34 pm

Rob wrote:
Way to go Norah and Ellexoh!

Today, I burned college love letters I found from her. I did not read them. Letters that so ensnared me into half a life with a person whose written and spoken words were not really true.

We can't erase the past but we can leave it behind.

I am working through this process myself. I started sorting through all the "love letters" and notes and everything else....I read a few and realized just how fake everything was. Mine spoke of building a life together, love, a future together. His had "I'm marrying her because she makes me happy" - oh to be able to go back in time and recognize the blazing red flags of my marriage....but hindsight is 20/20.

I didn't read anymore. I dumped them all without looking at anything else. I dumped all the wedding stuff. The photos. I kept the odd memento that had meaning for ME, but nothing of him. And I walked away....and it felt amazing.

**Posted by ricket** March 23, 2024 4:02 am

Congrats Norah. I only wish I had "love letters".

**Posted by LostOne24** May 14, 2024 2:12 pm

I found myself deleting all the photos on my phone of us as a couple. They feel so fake to me now.