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March 18, 2024 11:27 pm  #1


Shredding the past

Today I shredded my massive journal that I’ve had since 2016.  The journal was my safe haven during tumultuous periods and it does not serve a purpose anymore. It is full of gaslighting, lack of respect, confusion, anger, sadness, shame and pain.  A want for revenge and the karma bus to arrive.  It  helped me to unleash raw feelings that scared me, helped with processing and allowed clarification that I wasn’t crazy with specific incidences and confirmed my gut and intuition was spot on.   There’s a lot of mindfuckery in it.  I included the hoovering tactics after the 2022 no contact.  
It comes to a point where, it’s enough!  It’s been on a shelf.  Now it’s time..to erase.  Well, of course it’ will never be forgotten.  It reminds me of in 2017 that I shredded every single picture of him in my shredder.  Today was a ceremony.  

 

March 19, 2024 1:20 pm  #2


Re: Shredding the past

Well done Norah  

I started a diary (online) in 2013. It was full of everything that was in yours. 

I was so happy when I could finally look at it and decide it was no longer relevant because 
everything in it was already, sadly, in my memory.....it was simply not holding me back anymore

Elle


KIA KAHA                       
 

March 20, 2024 4:27 am  #3


Re: Shredding the past

Way to go Norah and Ellexoh!

Today, I burned college love letters I found from her. I did not read them.  Letters that so ensnared me into half a life with a person whose written and spoken words were not really true.

We can't erase the past but we can leave it behind.

Last edited by Rob (March 20, 2024 4:27 am)


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

March 20, 2024 1:52 pm  #4


Re: Shredding the past

Rob wrote:

Today, I burned college love letters.....

I'm trying to downscale my things at the moment and I had too big containers with photos and letters....to be fair not all to do with my former partner though. Really I want to decrease my footprint/my memories before I can't do it myself or leave it for my kids to do when I'm gone. Getting rid of belongings and memories I've held on to for years. 

Anyway...I wish we had a fireplace so the letters can go up in smoke. The thought of somebody's eye being caught by the emotional words in a letter written at my lowest makes me cringe. Setting a flame to it all seems the answer! 
Or soak it all in a bucket of water til it's mush! Then throw it out.

I'm rambling....lol
The truth is I feel forgotten by my family and the stuff I held on to for years because I've treasured it seems to mean something to only me and that makes me sad.

E
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

March 22, 2024 11:34 pm  #5


Re: Shredding the past

Rob wrote:

Way to go Norah and Ellexoh!

Today, I burned college love letters I found from her. I did not read them. Letters that so ensnared me into half a life with a person whose written and spoken words were not really true.

We can't erase the past but we can leave it behind.

I am working through this process myself. I started sorting through all the "love letters" and notes and everything else....I read a few and realized just how fake everything was. Mine spoke of building a life together, love, a future together. His had "I'm marrying her because she makes me happy" - oh to be able to go back in time and recognize the blazing red flags of my marriage....but hindsight is 20/20.

I didn't read anymore. I dumped them all without looking at anything else. I dumped all the wedding stuff. The photos. I kept the odd memento that had meaning for ME, but nothing of him. And I walked away....and it felt amazing. 

 

March 23, 2024 4:02 am  #6


Re: Shredding the past

Congrats Norah. I only wish I had "love letters". 

 

May 14, 2024 2:12 pm  #7


Re: Shredding the past

I found myself deleting all the photos on my phone of us as a couple.  They feel so fake to me now.

 

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