OSusanne  

   It's okay to be hurt and angry.  It would be alarming if you weren't hurt and angry!  He's turned your life, and the life of your family upside down.  

   Because you are a stay-at-home wife and mother, and your husband is holding the purse strings, you are understandably worried that he will go further off the deep end and stop paying your bills. You shouldn't have to accept his acting out in order to have a roof over your head.  I suspect that right now it feels as if he's holding all the cards.

  I suggest you go and see a lawyer, to see what you are entitled to of your marital property, child support, etc.  Knowledge is power, and you very much need to shift the balance of power.  I also suggest you do this without telling him.  You have cards of your own to play, but you need to keep them and play them close to your chest (out of his sight).