OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / The new "4" letter word....Sex

**Posted by Anon2222** July 27, 2022 7:21 pm

I have to say, it made me laugh which was part of why I did it. On the whole it seems ridiculous but I am thinking what the hell, may as well try it *snorts with laughter* I'm just glad that something is making me laugh these days.

**Posted by Gloria** July 28, 2022 7:29 am

Be grateful for the times you can laugh and I wish you all the best.

**Posted by Victo** July 30, 2022 10:27 am

My issue is that any woman I meet, the only way she can gain my trust is through copious amounts of sex.

Because talking is not safe. Talking can be lies. My marriage was a lie.

The proof is in the pudding. Trust only follows repetitive sessions of incredible sex.

However, as we all know, relationships don’t operate that way. So I’m screwed forever.

**Posted by Anon2222** July 30, 2022 11:45 am

Victo wrote:
My issue is that any woman I meet, the only way she can gain my trust is through copious amounts of sex.

Interesting perspective that I never thought about...

I am actually not sure how I feel about it one way or the other. Because the sex was great at the beginning with my gay husband. It was later that it all went to hell. It's funny, cuz at the beginning he wanted it all the time. So I don't know what type of barometer that is...

At this point I can't imagine actually having sex with another person and currently don't want to. But for me it's the trust thing. I just can't picture trusting another man enough.

Ironically, my gay husband truly believes he is going to find the love of his life and get everything he wants. Probably because his side of the relationship all he got was unconditional love and support. And someone who gave everything they had to the relationship. So he got to experience the love, support, all the good parts of a relationship. And he feels he will just be able to go out there and find all that, just with a man instead of me.

Me on the other hand got to experience being used, lied to, gaslit, and the incredible stress, destruction and anxiety of finding out all this was happening to you for years and you had no idea. Not to mention he's the one doing the dumping. So I also get to get dumped by the man who promised to love me forever. Like, I got nothing good in any of this. Besides that fact that I'm so fucked up it's not even funny.

Just another way this is all so ridiculously unfair I guess.

**Posted by Victo** July 30, 2022 12:20 pm

Almost everyone on a dating app wants to talk talk talk to build trust. And I’m agog at this.

The only way I’m trusting you is when you are naked and I’m naked and we are actively going at it.

Otherwise, you are just here to take from me. That seems so obvious to me now that I don’t know how I missed this basic universal dynamic before.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 30, 2022 1:45 pm

Victo wrote:
My issue is that any woman I meet, the only way she can gain my trust is through copious amounts of sex..........So I’m screwed forever.

Victo... screwed forever but will you end up liking the man you become?

Elle

**Posted by Victo** July 30, 2022 4:31 pm

I don’t know. I just know that being married to a GID lesbian narcissist who turned my sexual appreciation for my wife into something suspicious and ultimately problematic, has left me feeling incredibly bitter.

I want to want women but if I can get past feeling like my sexual desire must be suppressed to please women, then I have to deal with the fact that women only want me for my resources.

So, it isn’t about becoming a certain kind of man than it is that this is where toxic women have forced me.

**Posted by lily** July 30, 2022 6:45 pm

sorry Victo but narcissistic GID women can put on an act just as well as they can lie with their words. Remember that scene in When Harry met Sally? all too true.

If I can make a comment - feeling bitter is good, it aids digestion.

**Posted by Grace1958** July 31, 2022 7:06 pm

Victo wrote:
I don’t know. I just know that being married to a GID lesbian narcissist who turned my sexual appreciation for my wife into something suspicious and ultimately problematic, has left me feeling incredibly bitter.

I want to want women but if I can get past feeling like my sexual desire must be suppressed to please women, then I have to deal with the fact that women only want me for my resources.

So, it isn’t about becoming a certain kind of man than it is that this is where toxic women have forced me.

I can understand you're hurt but finding a woman to f her way into your good graces?
Yea, good luck with that. Balance is good. Talk, make sure you are in sync, then see if you mesh physically.
As far as trust? Hell I haven't completely trusted anyone in my life since I was 9 and molested by my brothers. You manage with limited trust. Maybe it's even a good thing because you keep your head about you.
I don't much care if I ever have sex with another human again, but I'm old and disabled. I've also had my fun, and I mean a lot of it when I was younger and in a relationship where we were into some very kinky stuff.
Now I think when this marriage ends I'll stick with being asexual. It's not worth the effort lol.

**Posted by Gloria** August 1, 2022 6:50 am

I was molested from the age of nine to twelve. It is so hard to trust