OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Today is not my day

**Posted by firefly** July 26, 2022 8:13 pm

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother and am also so happy about the inheritance. I am not a lawyer and am not offering legal advice, but I would encourage you to check with a lawyer to make sure the inheritance stays yours and doesn't get considered a marital asset. You can't hide it, but a lawyer would know how to advise you.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** July 26, 2022 9:02 pm

Anon,
When you receive the inheritance do not mingle it with marital funds. Put it in an account in your name only. Even if you live in a state (if you live in the U.S.) in which an inheritance is not treated as marital property, if you put it into a joint account it will be considered marital funds and your spouse will be entitled to half. Also please check and find out whether you live in a state in which inheritance is considered marital property. If it is considered martial property, you might ask a lawyer whether taking possession of the inheritance after divorce could prevent your spouse from being able to claim half.

**Posted by Agl03** July 26, 2022 11:15 pm

Anon,

Wonderful to hear! Lock it up and protect it from him. And I"m 100% here for amazing grandmas haunting those spouses for hurting us.

**Posted by Anon2222** July 27, 2022 7:26 pm

I have already looked into it....inheritance here is not considered marital property. And I am definitely putting it into a bank account that is in my name only! We're going to dissolve our joint account here back into 2 individual ones and start splitting up the expenses.

For some reason I am now just raring to go with this whole thing....like, I just want the separation over with already if that makes sense? It's not even the small chunk of money coming my way, it's the fact that now that he's come out I don't want to do this anymore. I just want it over with so I can go on with my life.

I dunno. Is there such thing as going too fast? One minute I'm like kick him to the curb, the next minute I'm terrified. But I hate the limbo....

**Posted by Anon2222** July 29, 2022 9:06 am

So, I basically lost it a bit on my gay husband last night.

He had asked earlier if I thought I would get an inheritance from my grandma, and I said that I wasn't sure (I have not brought it up with him). He was like, oh if you get a large chunk of money it sure would be nice if you paid off all the debt with it so we could both start fresh, then you can put the rest away for yourself. I was gobsmacked. I saw red.

We are splitting the debt, and I'm actually taking a little bit more with how it separates out....plus the one with the high interest rate. The inheritance will cover my debt and then leave me enough to do a few things. This is the only reason I agreed to the split the way it is. But there is no chance in hell I am paying off his debt. I am working to do the divorce with dignity process and have both of us walk away without getting screwed over and be treated fairly here...

So I just snapped, I told him under no bloody circumstances was I going to pay off his debt, even if I was able to. I did not end the marriage. I was not the one who initiated the divorce....I was like, what the fuck do you want from me? Dump me and then I'm supposed to what, fund your new single gay life with the money from my dead grandmother!?!??!?!

If nothing else, he did get it and felt really stupid for asking. Said it was just a thought that popped into his head. But it just amazes me that he would even have the thought in the first place!!!!! Like, seriously, how selfish can you be???

It was my grandmas funeral yesterday. Man alive she was one badass woman. I am going to miss her so much. I think it's finally starting to sink it. And it bites.

I'm starting to really hope she haunts him....

**Posted by Abby** July 29, 2022 1:02 pm

I haven't been on this board for while due to computer issues and a busy life.

I don't see you say that you have retained an attorney to advise and represent you in exiting the marriage. It sounds as if your husband made decisions that were what he wanted and left you with whatever he didn't want.

There are no do-overs so it is vital that you decide what YOU want and not be forced into situations you don't want by his choices. Now he's knows there is an inheritance he will try to get you to cave and act to advantage him.

Stay tough and let your attorney spell out reality to him while you focus on mourning your very astute grandmother. .

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 29, 2022 1:51 pm

Anon2222 wrote:
. ..... she was one badass woman. I am going to miss her so much....

I think you're pretty badass yourself Anon

😎

**Posted by Daryl** July 29, 2022 11:54 pm

He deserved every bit of that blast.

**Posted by Gloria** July 30, 2022 7:13 am

I also hope that grandmama haunts him

**Posted by Anon2222** July 30, 2022 2:37 pm

Anyone else frustrated with the process required to divorce?

I have spent half a day on the phone trying to set up my own bank accounts, re-arrange the mortgage, on and on. And everything is so expensive. I don't even want to know how much this is all going to cost.....everything from I need to buy dishes to a new external hard drive so I can keep the pictures and files off the computer. It's like....jeez. There is just this mountain of work ahead. I get overwhelmed by it and have to take frequent breaks. And count how many new subscriptions/passwords/accounts/on and on I will need to purchase, set up, change and do.

And all of this so un-wanted in my life. I never wanted any of this in my life. And I only have a couple more weeks off then I return to school (I'm doing my Masters). And I will also now have to work 5.5 days a week to keep up with expenses. How does everyone else deal with all the unwanted changes?