OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Wife of 10 years and 2 kids on our anniversary tells me she is queer

**Posted by Iamsoconfused** October 11, 2021 7:54 pm

lily wrote:
personally I feel like I am entitled to tell my story to whomever I want to. My gidex made himself part of my story when he misled me into marriage. I didn't rub his nose in it, I even used my silence with his family members as a bargaining chip to get a better result but no way was I going to keep his secret I literally Promised myself I would talk, on my own behalf. Note of caution - it is entirely possible one of her parents is in the closet.

Yes you need a support team, as many people as you can and it might be wise to consult with a lawyer and see how your financial situation plays out. Thinking that it will get easier with time might be wishful thinking. It could get worse. I was told here in Australia that as we had been married more than ten years it was considered a longterm marriage and I had more responsibility towards him.

Do you believe she really is going to become financially independent in the next little while?

If you mean within the next year so I see her being financial dependent from me? No I don't.

**Posted by lily** October 11, 2021 8:24 pm

what I am getting at is that unless she really is going to become financially independent in the next little while, next little while including maybe more than a year, then it could be less expensive to define the limits of your financial responsibility towards her sooner than later.

Last edited by lily (October 11, 2021 8:27 pm)

**Posted by Iamsoconfused** October 22, 2021 1:08 pm

My wife brought up the idea of polyamory to a friend of hers. Starting to wonder if my wife is Bi or leaning that way. Has anyone here transitioned to a polyamory relationship?

I am not so sure I like the idea of sharing my spouse with another person.

**Posted by Iamsoconfused** October 22, 2021 2:04 pm

It's diffently not what I signed up for. She has not brought it up to me in serious conversation. Brought it up in passing on occasion. We are starting therapy together in a couple weeks so we will see how it goes.

I am just wanting to know if anyone out there sucessfully transitioned to something like that? I am resistant as I am a selfish straight mono male and don't want to share my spouse.

It's a weird feeling when your spouse tells you that she loves you but that she does not know if she is in love with you.

**Posted by lily** October 22, 2021 3:01 pm

omg please tell me you are only joking in describing yourself as selfish!

Let me translate - mentioning polyamory in passing = wants to have sex with her girlfriend without feeling like she is cheating.

The idea of remaining married and having a lover on the side is something generation after generation have tried. In France it's a tradition.

The trouble for you is that you love your wife.

Embrace that weird feeling you get when you take on board she is incapable of feeling like that about you.