OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Gay porn

**Posted by Devastatedbylies** August 19, 2021 5:39 pm

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Last edited by Devastatedbylies (August 22, 2021 5:09 am)

**Posted by Devastatedbylies** August 19, 2021 5:47 pm

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Last edited by Devastatedbylies (August 22, 2021 5:09 am)

**Posted by Soaplife** August 19, 2021 8:17 pm

Devastatedbylies, but strengthened by truth. Glad you listened to your gut. We 'know' before we know, right?

I will add, as further encouragement for you to keep working your way out of this relationship, that my gxh's porn kinks did find their way to our bedroom with absolutely soul destroying results.

That's how I know you dodged a bullet.

There are better times ahead.

**Posted by Devastatedbylies** August 22, 2021 5:13 am

Thank you Soaplife! We definitely know before we know. Thank you for sharing such a painful memory to encourage me to leave the relationship. I've deleted the previous replies out of fear, but I'll keep reading and commenting other people's post to find the strength in the people that share this pain. Thank you all for reading and support me in one of the worst periods of my life.

**Posted by Daryl** August 22, 2021 9:14 am

If you are in fear of his possible reactions, that is even more reason to leave this relationship. When you post, keep the possibly identifiable things a bit vague. If you still inhabit the same space, learn about incognito browser tabs, selectively deleting browser history and site cookies. Quietly make your plans. Keep important resources handy such as local police and shelters. If possible, have an escape plan, even just a friends place you can crash at. Prepare it in advance with some clothes, important papers, etc. so that you can just leave on a moments notice. Take good care of yourself.

**Posted by Devastatedbylies** September 6, 2021 5:40 pm

Hi Daryl and longwayhome,

Thank you for your help and the ressources you shared. I'm so sorry to have taken so long to reply, but things haven't been easy and I'm still trying to make sense of all this mess. I'm happy that he's going back to the country he's currently living in (the country he choose over me and our life the last time he decided to abandon me because his selfishness was more important than us). I'm not sure if he's actually capable of physical violence. After discovering the hardcore porn video, plus the lies about his sexuality, I no longer feel like I know him or know what he could do to protect his image. I rather be safe than become another number in the domestic violence's statistics.

I'm currently waiting for him to finally leave this week so I can be free. I've discovered more things lately that have been really hurtful. I also made the huge mistake of sleeping with him (before knowing some of those) to try to make myself feel like I still mattered somehow, to see if he still desired me. But I've should known better and listen to your advice, because I've been feeling worse after the last time we had sex. Now it's too late and the things I've discovered make me regret even more repeating that mistake.

I'm going to start a new thread asap to share and seek for support in the past disgusting things I've found out and to further discuss how callous is he capable of being. But it's late now and he's around, so I don't feel free to write it all out and cry if I need to.

I can't thank you enough for being supportive during this horrible time in my life.

I hope that anyone that reads this is doing a lot better and is finding new ways to be at peace with the chaos and pain that our partners created and put us through.

Thank you!

Last edited by Devastatedbylies (September 6, 2021 5:42 pm)