OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / it's the darkest time of my life

**Posted by ppp40** March 10, 2021 8:34 pm

When I found he is gay, I feel I have been living in a lie for the past 3 years. Our kid is his purpose for the marriage. He just wants next-generation due to Asian tradition. I was used as a tool for that.

I got here and I found I'm not alone.

**Posted by MillennialMess** March 10, 2021 9:25 pm

I’m so sorry you’re here. But you aren’t alone. I too had feelings that the whole relationship was a lie. I can’t speak on the subject of children but I know there’s many people on here who can. Do not feel alone!

**Posted by Rob** March 10, 2021 10:49 pm

You/we are not alone.

You were a person before you met them.

You have a God.

You have other people that God put on this earth that can help.

Being alone is ok..its better than being with a person that hurts you. It is solitude and peace.

**Posted by SusanneH** March 11, 2021 11:20 am

You’re in the right place to find support and people who have been through similar situations. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, and that you had to ‘find’ us, but hope we’ll be of help.

It does get better....takes awhile, but it does. If you want to share more so we can help, feel free.

((((HUGS))))

**Posted by Dad1st** March 11, 2021 1:09 pm

Sorry you are here... I know that I really struggled with feeling my marriage of 8 years was a lie. There are people here who are a few steps ahead of you.

One thing I will say if be patient with yourself, its OK not to be OK. It is OK to cry to be angry / sad and everything else.

Find someone you can talk to a friend, a parent, a sibling, people are more supportive than you might think at first. Talk to them, if you want to vent come here tell us whats happening, knowing that others went through this does not take away the pain but it DOES help to know that others got through it, many found real love and happiness at the other end, being able to REALLY appreciate it when they find it.

**Posted by Upside** March 11, 2021 1:50 pm

Welcome and I'm so sorry.

Sage advice here already.

My spouse also used me for a child, but took 20 years of my time. I love this child more than life itself. While I will never forgive her for what she did, I am grateful for my little one.

Please know that this shock gets better with each day. You will find your footing and heal. The future ahead of you is brightly shining, waiting for you.

Stay strong.

Last edited by Upside (March 11, 2021 1:51 pm)