My wife continues to beg forgiveness.
She admits to having multiple affairs, but men only, only emotional and the women were all just "good friends". She is unaware I have audio tapes, GPS visits, numerous hotel visits, and a conversation with an escort that proves otherwise.
She is now asking if we can still all live together after the divorce. This will be the 30th time I've told her "No", but she will keep asking. That's what she does as she tries to bend reality. I now default to believing she is lying, but it has been a hard road to get here.
Whatever extreme things I can dream up, she's a leap or two ahead. The night before Valentine's Day she is alone with our child on the couch. I come in and she doesn't know I'm there. She is clearly on a dating app, looking at women, swiping left and right. I watch her for two minutes just to allow my mind to catch up with reality. She's cruising for sex while cuddling with our kid. An hour before she tried to get back together. Of course, I think. What did I expect?!
She tucks in our little one emphasizing "Good night, my one and only true love", trying to turn the knife a bit, glancing at me with a smile as she leaves the room.
Life will be different a year from now. That's what is keeping me focused each day. One step in front of the last.
