Spewing nasty comments about people you don't even know, is not support.  When the first thing said to anyone posting here is "to get out" (of their marriage) and to not trust anything their spouse tells them, that is not helping at all.  Perhaps we "lurkers" as you call us, don't post because everytime we do we are told we are wrong for wanting to stay with our spouses.  It is the same people posting that hatred, I have been here for a few months now. I "lurk" to see if ANYONE could actually be supportive of my feelings.  I get people are angry. I was angry at first too, but thankfully I didn't listen to the hatred spewed here and actually LISTENED to my spouse.  I decided to actually hear what he was telling me instead of listening and not actually understanding what he was saying.  He has proved to me that he loves me and wants to be married to me, that he does desire me.  When someone posts and is jumped on, it is not a very inviting and supportive environment.  Try moving past the hatred and listen, actually LISTEN to what is being said. Sorry so many of you seem to have jerks for a spouse, not all are, maybe you need to open your minds and stop being so biased.  When your site is the first that most people see when looking for support is a disservice.  There is no one way to navigate a MOM, there are as many ways as their are couples.  Just because you married an insensitive jerk does not mean that everyone has.  

Thanks Steve

No it is not what "Should have happened"  For you maybe, but that does not mean that is sound advice for everyone.  And calling my husband a lying cheating, narcissist, among other things, is what I call spewing nasty comments. Those commenting did not know him and had no right to judge him. Obviously your spouse is not mine. Mine is loving and caring and committed to making our marriage work. He makes sure I am happy and fought his SSA for many, many years before talking to me about it.  So if I had followed the advice I was given then I would be a bitter, unhappy, divorced str8 spouse like so many of the others here instead of  a happy, loved, and well cared for str8 spouse to my loving and happy DGH.  He is home with me where he wants to be.

And I agree with Steve, perhaps there needs to be a better design to the forum since this is the first link that people see when searching for support.  Then the negativity could be avoided and support for those who want to work their marriages out can be found more easily. People need to know that not all MOMs fail if both spouses are committed and willing to make it work.  

JerseyGirl... This is a public forum not a closed/private  forum. ANYONE can post here. Happy people and angry people. Informed people and ignorant people. Liberal people and conservative people. This forum's 'public' nature and the diversity of the people who post here is both a weakness of the forum and a strength. We don't all think the same and we don't all feel the same. Sometimes getting a different perspective is helpful. If nothing else it makes this forum 'interesting'.

All I can suggest for people reading here is that you take the advice that is useful and ignore the advice that is not. I'll say it again there ARE other forums and groups on SSN for people trying to make a MOM work. I've never been there but my guess is you'd find lots of help there. Meanwhile... you are welcome to hang with this rag-tag bunch but be warned. You won't agree with everything everyone says

Last edited by Steve (October 7, 2016 7:51 pm)

JerseyGirl wrote:

Trust me, I won't be back.   Just because your spouses were jerks doesn't mean mine is.  Y'all can enjoy your bitter lives. All the hatred and negativity isn't doing any of you any good. It's not healthy.  So  bitch on and make yourselves feel better. I will be with my husband and happy.  Just because you all have failed doesn't mean everyone does.  Maybe be happy for those who do succeed instead of being so negative.  LOL

In one fell swoop you just commited every wrong you've accused others on this board of. Congrats! LOL