OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Can the Gay go Away ? Other straight spouse stories

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** October 19, 2020 8:06 pm

On trauma bonding: Chump Lady has material on her site, and although it's not specific to our situation, it is specific to the kinds of deception and manipulation we experience.

Ex-Beard: When I read that article, I kept thinking that some may make their own accommodation with the Devil, but I'm very glad I decided just to get out of Hell.

**Posted by Virion** October 26, 2020 12:04 pm

Thank you all so much.
im going to read that article straight away
Unfortunately he is back to his hypercritical gaslighting behaviour so God knows what's going on

**Posted by Julian_Stone** October 26, 2020 12:44 pm

That's a lot for one person to go through alone, Virion...I hope you have a good support network. I'm not a psychiatrist...but I'm wondering if your husband's erratic behavior is possibly caused by something else (completely separate from the sexuality issue)...Is he seeing a counselor?

**Posted by Virion** October 27, 2020 2:23 pm

Hi Julian,
No he is not , he says he is at peace with his identity and as he has committed to being monogamous to me any issues in our marriage are due to my grief.insecurity.anxiety etc ,he did 3 sessions reluctantly ( says I made him )
His gaslighting of me is high right now . I have disconnected and am waiting and watching
He is a very angry man .Probably bi polar yes , but also just mean

Last edited by Virion (October 27, 2020 2:24 pm)

**Posted by Rob** October 27, 2020 5:02 pm

So sorry Virion. Sounds narcisstic like my GX. She was at total peace with her abusive treatment of me. Said I was responsible for everything..all problems in the world.

Yes if I look back she was and still is a narcissist but probably, I did not know at the time, bipolar.

Whatever their diagnosis..bipolar, gay, alien ..I do not think they were given a God given right to hurt us. I dont recall doing anything so horrible to warrant what the abusive treatment.
This we know in our bones.

This is all them.

**Posted by OJECPOMCO** November 7, 2020 1:13 am

Virion wrote:
He is a very angry man .Probably bi polar yes , but also just mean

Hi Virion, I haven't sorted by issue yet. But I see similarities with you saying he might be bipolar and me thinking my might be autistic or have aspergers. It is just us making excuses for them.