yeah really Rob. "everything was her way or the highway" It was the same for me, I had no idea I was subject to coercive control techniques. Then comes that moment. It was preceded by a number of other moments but there it was. He wanted to stop me asking him questions, he was threatening that it would upset him, that he would have an anxiety attack if I kept insisting he answer me and I didn't back off and he didn't get anxious, no he was calm as a cucumber and I realised he had been pretending all along.
Once he couldn't lead me around by the nose it was all over. And we could go about the business of divorce step by step, he unleashed a whole new bag of tricks in that too, manipulating friends to put pressure on me and so on, but I was off the hook of his manipulative techniques.
Yes Ellexoh, it does seem ridiculous but already happening, I think the first place was Scotland. 'women's studies' academics have been involved in the legislation and their hope is it will help because the whole relationship is weighed up and the police aren't limited to action only when it is physical. Their idea is the coercive husband who then gets hit on the head with a frying pan by his wife would still be in trouble not just her. I still think it's worse than useless. Particularly when you consider how desperately snowed under the police are anyway.
But how much proof would one need!