OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / As the days go by

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** February 3, 2020 9:34 am

I don't mean to stress you further but one reason to seek a divorce as soon as you possibly can is that it severs your financial liability for his debts--and as one transwoman online advised wives, transitioning spouses can rack up LOTS of debt. As you know already, this works like an addiction: the more they do, they more they way. When they're in the "pink fog," they're not rational.

MJM's suggestion to create a "getaway fund" out of small amounts of cash that might come your way is a very good one. Also pack a suitcase for you and your daughter and keep it in a secure spot, maybe at a friend's.

**Posted by Rob** February 3, 2020 1:45 pm

SS,

In almost all,situations i highly recommend against mediation..i think mediation works if you have a normal reasonable spouse.

Does anyone on this board,think they have normal,reasonable, spouse?

You dont have to justify here or to anyone why you stay ..we get it.

I think your plan is sound..open a checking account..squirrel away money..gather strength. You will know when you cant take it anymore and its worth selling your organs to get away. I look back and dont know,how I was able to tolerate what i did..my family thought i was crazy..but i was maintaining status quo..gathering strength.

If i had to,do it over again, I think I would have filed sooner..maybe stood up for myself more. But in the end it didnt really matter..it was pomp and circumstance..whether it takes 2 months, 2 years or 5 years its important to come,to terms,with the fact they they have destoyed the marriage and one person cannot fix it. We are not gods with omnipotent powers..but neither are they.