OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Kissing Places I didn't think got kissed

**Posted by LetsBHonest** March 14, 2018 6:21 pm

Thank you all for helping me. I think it is the worst answer that I feared he is total gay man. The sex was so much porn of gay men and then lots of anal licking then finish very quick in vagina. So many years of this. I am tired. I think he only sees my bum hole and not my face and my face is okay with clean teeth and mouth. I have tears now on my face.

**Posted by LetsBHonest** March 19, 2018 2:44 pm

I don’t know why I didn’t try to stop him sooner with having gay porn on screen while in bed with me. Now I’m confused feel crazy. I did it for him not me, let him watch that. I’d never heard of it before so i did not bring it to bedroom. But he says it was for me. Like big big penis toy he brought to bedroom. It’s not a dildo just a big penis and balls. I think he bought to look at himself but I’m going all confused when I talk to him .

**Posted by Duped** March 19, 2018 3:46 pm

LBH, he has confused you, to get what he wants. He has made it seem that this is your fault. It’s not. Can you access help? Do you have any support? Are their friends or family who you trust that you can confide in?

**Posted by LetsBHonest** March 19, 2018 3:48 pm

Duped, I don’t know who to tell about this bad stuff and it’s confudong because he didn’t rape me. So he says I agree because I like it

**Posted by Duped** March 19, 2018 3:52 pm

So he’s telling you that you like it...but YOU know you don’t. So what he’s doing is twisting your reality and manipulating you. It’s abuse LBH, he doesn’t have to have raped you to have abused you or to be gay. What he is doing, is manipulating you sexually, and that is wrong. I suggest you start by immediately stopping doing anything that YOU are not comfortable with sexually. Ignore what he tells you you like or don’t like because those decisions are yours not his.

**Posted by LetsBHonest** March 19, 2018 3:59 pm

I only did it because there was no other way to have sex and we were suppose to have sex because we are married and if it has gay stuff he gets excited. That is why. He’s very control husband.

**Posted by Duped** March 19, 2018 4:17 pm

I understand that you were trying to please him, don’t feel bad. But this isn’t normal sex between a husband and wife. You’re not supposed to have sex for the sake of it, it’s supposed to happen because you are both turned on by each other. He’s trying to convince you that it’s normal but it’s not and you’re unhappy with that type of sex.

**Posted by LetsBHonest** March 20, 2018 6:58 am

I told him no more. Now I have big mess. But you are right Duped, it was fake sex for both but what is wrong with me that I faked it when I knew he’s gay man but we don’t talk about truth.

**Posted by Duped** March 20, 2018 2:40 pm

LBH, what do you mean “I have a big mess”? Are you ok and are you safe?

**Posted by Kel** March 20, 2018 4:05 pm

LBH,

Don't beat yourself up about why you didn't stop him earlier. You came on here not two weeks ago now, asking if what you were experiencing is normal. In that time, you've come to see more truth, and you've already started to make life changes to make yourself happier and eliminate you doing things and giving permission to things that you don't like and aren't comfortable with. You're doing good, really.

Are you in any danger?

Don't buy into what he's saying. He's hoping you'll believe him over yourself. And since he has his OWN best interest at heart, he's telling you lies so that you'll continue to do what he says. No, it wasn't rape. But it WAS manipulation, plain and simple. And he doesn't need to agree with you for you to think that it was. You are completely entitled to feel ANY way you want. He doesn't make up your mind for you, and what your view of the situation is.

Kel