glad to hear it.  it is one of the things I have noticed over the years, we straights tend to believe we're doing something 'special' or with a 'special' person while we're still married to them but when you leave then you realise how very unspecial it is, the way you've been treated.

it is one thing to discuss strategies for coping being in a MOM - why not, we've all been there - but it is crossing a line isn't it to promote them as if it is meritorious to stay in them as the latest poster in your section is doing.

I feel for her, but I also feel for all the men and women who come on here like I did - no proof, nothing concrete, just all that side-stepping morass of denial to wade through.  And just like I did, likely to have a side helping of enough guilt and blame laden on by their GID spouse to sink a ship.

as I said earlier - do we need a separate section?  it's a bit head-turning, imo. 

Last edited by lily (July 23, 2018 7:02 pm)

  I felt for YazPistachio; so chirpily invested in making it work.  Such a happy little cheerleader for giggly laughs before sex, and so very understanding of HIS pain, never considering that she, too, has a sexuality, and has equal rights and need to have it satisfied. 
   A lot of us have been there, in denial, and I've been in her shoes, trying to control the outcomes by participating eagerly in his sexuality, and patting myself on the back for it.   But the spectre of becoming a YazPistachio kept nagging at me. Some people make their sexuality their focus in life (what my oldest and best friend, a lesbian, calls "a professional gay person," as opposed to a person who lives their life and for which their gayness is just one aspect of life), and I didn't want to have my stbx's sexuality take over and become the focus of my life. 
    Seems that most of us don't have honest partners who are willing to engage us in open and honest conversations about their sexuality and its implications for our marriages.  Yaz seems to think she does; perhaps she does.  At any rate, it's her choice to make and her life to live.  I read that thread, but I mostly stay out of it; I've made a different choice.  
   At any rate, I think, like Lynne, that now that we've got that thread, it's here to stay.  

Last edited by OutofHisCloset (July 23, 2018 7:52 pm)

but it's not a thread, it's a section.  

I think we all agree that the time this site comes to the fore is for the straight spouse in the first stages of discovery.  So many of us arrive here in a state of shock, and it's the corroboration we get that is of such value and I think that's compromised by having the 'MOM's are good for you' views as a front page section.  When I first arrived here my spouse was saying I was crazy for thinking he was gay and it was the people on this site who suggested he was probably in denial.  and I had no concept of that - I just assumed he was being honest with me like I was with him.   

my suggestion is to replace the section with a thread.  maybe Ellexoh could think about starting a thread in the support section?

lily wrote:

but it's not a thread, it's a section.  

I think we all agree that the time this site comes to the fore is for the straight spouse in the first stages of discovery.  So many of us arrive here in a state of shock, and it's the corroboration we get that is of such value and I think that's compromised by having the 'MOM's are good for you' views as a front page section.  When I first arrived here my spouse was saying I was crazy for thinking he was gay and it was the people on this site who suggested he was probably in denial.  and I had no concept of that - I just assumed he was being honest with me like I was with him.   

my suggestion is to replace the section with a thread.  maybe Ellexoh could think about starting a thread in the support section?

 

Nowhere have I seen the view/words "MOMs are good for you"