I've been married for 27 years. At the end of July 2026, my husband, whom I'll call G, came out as a trans woman.

G's transition began right away: clothes, makeup, laser facial treatments, dyed hair, shoes, mannerisms, jewelry. By the end of August, the person I had known seemed to be gone. I asked G to slow down. G explained that 52 years was a long time to wait, which I understand, but the change happened in a single month and I couldn't keep up.

That month was the hardest of my life. I cried constantly, had panic attacks, stopped eating, lost weight, and barely slept. One day I ended up in the emergency room and was prescribed medication for anxiety. I also had suicidal thoughts. G was frustrated by my crying and told me I was overreacting and living in a soap opera, which hurt deeply.

We kept trying. We argued, cried, and went to couples therapy, but after four or five weekly sessions I knew we couldn't stay together. G made it clear that G wanted to live the rest of life as a woman and be with a man. We became roommates. G kept telling me that G loved and cared for me, but not as a wife, and at times said we couldn't even be friends. At first I was willing to stay married regardless of G's transition, but the messages were mixed.

In September we separated. G moved out, and I stayed in our rental apartment. The first day after G left, I felt a sense of peace, with nothing around to set off my tears.We continued to text, email, and call, but after two or three weeks I asked to communicate by email only, because the calls and texts were spiking my anxiety. That has helped.

I'm now in my fifth week of living alone. I still cry every day, though a little less. Often I want to run to G's new place, ask for forgiveness, and get back together. G has told me that I ruined our marriage because I couldn't handle the disclosure and transition. G wants a relationship with me, but not as spouses.

l honestly don't know whether to stay or to go. For those who have been through this, how have other couples managed to stay together?