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    Yesterday 7:41 pm  #1

    GamerGirl
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    Husband has Sexuality Confusion

    Hi all. I’m unsure where to turn as I have no one to talk to other than my husband about this and I’m feeling quite alone.

    Recently I found out my husband has been talking to people sexually online specifically other men. Up until a few weeks ago I was under the impression that he was completely straight but now I’m finding out he’s feeling really confused in his head. He explained that he’s romantically and sexually attracted to women(specifically me) but he also feels sexually attracted to me but only online through chat rooms. I am totally okay with him being bisexual and having these feelings but the deception of sneaking around online and sending photos to other guys has left me feeling really alone and unwanted. I have had a heart to heart with him and tried to figure out how he’s feeling and trying my best to help, from what he has said it seems that he isn’t wanting to be with a man physically and he doesn’t look at men and fancy them but when he’s online and chatting to them it really gets him going talking about the other guys fantasies and what they want to do with him. It’s completely sexual

    I’m doing my best to be understanding and help him through this but I feel I have no one to talk to and no one to help me with how I’m feeling. Has anyone been through anything similar that could maybe talk and make me feel a little less on my own and lost.
    He has assured me that his love, dedication and want to be with me has never once been in question and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but he gets these urges to go on these online chat rooms. After it he feels ashamed and disappointed with himself

     

    Today 1:55 am  #2

    Ellexoh_nz
    Member

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    Re: Husband has Sexuality Confusion

    Welcome to our forum Gamergirl

    When a man admits to having a sexual attraction to other men much of the 'confusion' is how he's going to manage, now that you know, having his cake and eating it too.
    And you're right to find support here. Talking to your husband will end up simply a conversation that goes around in a circle.

    It really pisses me off when I read women saying they're trying to understand and help their partners through this. Frankly Gamergirl... it's not your job to do that. What about you?! Do you trust him to never further his online activity and meet another man in person?
    This same-sex attraction of his will be something he's able, and quite happy to keep separate from his r'ship with you....something to do with the male brain I reckon.

    Have a think. Is there nobody you can confide in?  Friend, family member? Talking with your husband will only keep tying your emotions in knots.

    Elle

    Edited to ask.... Are you wanting strategies and advice to stay in the marriage?

    Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (Today 2:13 am)

    KIA KAHA                       
     

    Today 3:20 pm  #3

    GamerGirl
    New member

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    Re: Husband has Sexuality Confusion

    Thank you so much for your comment. It’s honestly so nice just to have someone respond
    I’ll be honest I’ve been so lost in all this that I have neglected to think about myself, it may be because we have been together for a decade and have recently had our first baby that I’m not focusing on me right now.
    From our conversations I don’t believe he will meet up with anyone to do anything but obviously I don’t have the ability to know for sure which sucks.

    There really isn’t anyone I can talk too, hence why I turned to a site like this☺️ There are some things that I haven’t been able to even share on here because it’s trauma on his end that I don’t feel is my place to share so I definitely feel like I couldn’t tell family or friends unfortunately

    I am 100% looking for some advice as I really don’t want to give up on my marriage, this man is everything to me and he’s the most amazing father to our little one. We’ve finally got the family we’ve always dreamed of and neither of us want to give up that

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