My wife and I have been married for 24.5 years we have 3 kids together and a stepdaughter from her first marriage. We had sex fairly regularly up until a couple of months ago. The last time we had sex was May 16th. That being said in January my wife came to me and wanted to play out a fantasy she wanted to know what it was like to sleep with a woman and wanted to have a 3some with me and another woman. Reluctantly I said ok and she ended up sleeping with her partner from work in February. She said she liked it and we talked about it while she and I were having sex. Our sex life seemed to spike and was really good for a while then she started developing feelings for this other woman who happens to be 20 years younger than her. They made plans for the 3 of us to go on trips together and at the end of April we went to San Antonio together. We ended up having a 3some however the other woman never removed her shorts. She got upset and it ended there. My wife and talked later about the experience and she said it was awesome and wanted to do it again but with someone else and go further. About a week later my wife told me that the other woman stated she didn’t want to “share” her with me anymore. A week after that on May 12th  my wife told me that she thought she was gay and didn’t want to be with me sexually anymore. We had been going to couples counseling and had an appointment on May 14th. On the way to the appointment she was on the phone with the other woman and told her she lied to me and that she does still want to be with me. That caused a big fight between them and caused my wife to become very upset.   She told the counselor and I all of this. She then moved out that night and went to stay with a friend. She asked me to bring her some stuff on May 16th which I did and we ended up having sex at her friends apartment. After that her and the other woman made up and now my wife is telling me again that she “thinks” she is gay. (Her terminology) since then she has distanced herself from me and spent more time with the other woman. We still go to counseling but things have gotten much worse. I am trying to save our marriage but don’t know if it’s possible. I told her that I feel like if she is truly gay then she always has been and our whole marriage was a lie. She claims she did love me and doesn’t regret being married to me. I feel like the other woman has manipulated her into believing that she is gay and not bi. I can handle bi because I feel like that would mean she and I can still make it work. For me if she is gay then everything else has been a lie and I can’t handle that. I have been an absolute wreck since she sprung this on me. I have lost 65lbs because I don’t eat and I average about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I need answers and help. I am seeing a psychiatrist now and he feels the same way I do that the other woman has manipulated her.  Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated. I have also returned to my faith and have been praying daily.