thanks Elle.  its an old-fashioned phrase but still fits the bill doesn't it.

The board is quiet.  I don't think that's because there aren't straight spouses, maybe we've slipped out of the zeitgeist a bit. But I do think it's become harder to find us now that our name Straight Spouse Network has been taken under the banner of 'One Path'.  

I don't really know how to fix that, but I do know how bad it hurt being the straight spouse.



 

I haven't been on the forum nearly as long as others (it will be coming up on 5 years) - and I agree. At the beginning there was a lot more discussion and advice. Over the years, it has gotten less and less. I also hang around the reddit "straight spouses" on and off...honestly, the trend I have been seeing is that more and more straight spouses just accept this as the "normal" of society today. "Sexual fluidity" just seems normal now-a-days. Personally I think we just have a crap ton of really confused individuals with looser morals and ethics than ever before.

Anon2222 wrote:

...honestly, the trend I have been seeing is that more and more straight spouses just accept this as the "normal" of society today. "Sexual fluidity" just seems normal now-a-days.

I agree with this point and just wanted to share how this belief/acceptance factored into my own experience, as it's been mind-melting. My husband is in his 50s and recently disclosed to me that he is gay - lots of pain, insecurity, denial, generational/cultural fear going on for him there. We are both still unpacking this and I don't really know how we'll proceed. I am more than a decade younger than him and I'm realizing that my millennial "fluidity" is probably one of the main reasons I've put up with so much over the years. I have excused or overlooked SO MANY actions and words, most of which ignored my physical and emotional needs, while honestly thinking things like "everyone is at least a little bi, this doesn't really affect our love/marriage". Eventually, the signs and suspicions could no longer be ignored and I had been much more inquisitive and forward in the months leading up to his very reluctant disclosure. Once he told me, though, all of the dots were connected and I felt really stupid for just going along with the ride this whole time just because I adhered to fluidity as a societal norm. 

Edit: When I refer to my "fluidity", I'm not talking about my own sexuality (I've always been confident in my straightness, haha), but rather how I previously ignored/dismissed now-obvious signs from my husband (at the cost of my mental health) because I was so attached to this "fluidity is normal, so I should be fine with it in the context of my marriage" idea. 

Last edited by prettysure (Today 4:13 pm)

Prettysure, just read your post - that is exactly what concerns me, younger straights believing there is no such thing,  they aren't straight when they are.