This is my first time to this site and I hope I can find comfort in some way. My husband and I have been together 26 years and have three daughters who finally launched from college over the last couple of years. About ten years ago he/they began withdrawing from me physically and emotionally. At that time I tried to figure out what was going on by talking to him (I am going to refer to he/him for now) with an assumption that it was due to my Menopause and painful sex. I did everything I could to deal with this but nothing changed. Finally about four years ago he came out to me as Non-binary/Gender fluid. He still likes women (not men) but I think because I'm straight he was no longer attracted to me. I didn't fully grasp what that all meant but he said they were going for an Androgenous vibe as he realized that at this late stage of the game (he was 53) it would be weird to take it further. While blown away, I tried my best to be open minded and supportive as best I could but deep down in side I was struggling. He expected me to keep this secret until he was ready to come out to people and I did my best but ultimately I did confide in my closest girl friends that I knew would be supportive and kind. I also have a therapist. It was really difficult for me to keep this from our daughter's though and so I encouraged him to come out to them. He finally came out to them Feb 2022 and while they knew something was going on (they were thinking one of us had an affair) they were surprised and shocked. As we grew further apart he finally decided to come fully out as trans this past Nov 2023 and announced that he had wanted to separate, get his own place and live as a women. They are now on HRT and plan on many other procedures to accomplish their goal. Mean while I've been left feeling traumatized. It seems like they have just moved on and are not looking back. There seems to be no empathy or compassion emanating from them towards me as to what I might be going through or even gratitude for the things we have shared during our time together. They are giving themselves a new name and I'm not sure why but it feels like they are just erasing the past that they shared with me and now I feel myself spiraling down the hole. One doesn't just stop loving but at the same time I am not attracted to them any longer in their new identity. It's more that I'm trying to deal with the total loss of them as they were and who I fell in love with. I know it is what it is and am doing my best to move on with my life but I'm 65 now (he is 57). I'm in pretty good shape and all but I'm sort of bereft at this point and don't know what the future holds for me. I feel like I have been left to deal with all of the work associated with separating and possibly divorcing now and I am just overwhelmed and paralyzed.