I don’t even know how to start this as I still feel in denial due to my world being shattered just 6 days ago.

I have been with my partner for 5 years and within 5 months of being together he had told me he slept with a guy before we started dating which i was okay with as I asked him if he sees himself with a man or a woman for the rest of his life and said he could not see himself being with a man. We then never talked about it again for over 3 years.

Just over a year ago we ended up talking about this adventure again not sure how the subject came up but it did and he gave me all the details and also confirm to me he was bisexual which I accept him as he is it doesn’t change how I love him. I did ask him if he was happy with me and if he thought that one day he would just wake up change his mind and decide no I want a man now and not me. He said no he still could not see himself being with a man that way but that he was happy with me to the most that he could and the little part that was missing well he had options to deal with them (in my mind that was watching gay porn and also me doing accommodations in our sexual life).

Fast forward to this year we finally got pregnant after trying for 6 months and found out in April I was so excited and he looked a bit stress but I assumed it was just a normal reaction for a man. In June he proposed to me and he looked so happy when he did and I had all that I ever wanted in life now. I had my house, cat, dog, the love of my life and a beautiful baby girl on the way.

Well in august he decided to take a trip to another province and when he came back he was a bit distant from me but not enough to cause any alarms in my head cause I have always trusted him and I have never been one to question what he does.

Well I should of I guess cause for the last 2 weeks he was so distant and always on his phone or napping instead of being with me that I started asking for more attention as I’m 7 months pregnant now and need affection and reassurance cause I thought he found me repulsive for getting big since I’m pregnant.

I asked him if he still loved me and he started crying. Everything just came out. He’s been crying for 2 months cause he fell in love with another man and has cheated on me with him in august and can’t believe he is placing me it this shitty situation cause I’ve been nothing but the best girlfriend/fiancée someone could wish for.

All I could think in that moment is how can someone do this to me. He kept repeating that I don’t deserve this as I’m such a good person and that he still loved me but not in love with me but loved me more than a friend. How could you do this to a pregnant woman.

He said he wasn’t happy since the beginning of the year and that I wasn’t the one making him unhappy but the life he was making was not what he wanted and only realized it after I was already pregnant. He started talking to this guy in March and fell in love with him pretty much when I found out I was pregnant. He still proposed and I asked why he would do this and he said he felt pressure but also wanted to try and continue with me ask he still thought he wanted the typical family life everyone has but now he realized this is not it and he felt dead inside cause he was not happy.

Now our situation is super messy and I don’t know if what we are doing is the right thing. I still love him I accept that he is bisexual I do not accept that he cheated but I support him doing his coming out.

I told him that 7 months pregnant I need someone with me I’m in the stage where I need help and emotional support and he said he would be there for me for all of it but just not in the loving fiancé way. Then I asked how can you just leave your child and me on mat leave as I won’t be able to afford this and he offered as long as I was okay with it to stay with me in our house until my mat leave is done but then he would leave the province.

How can someone just leave there baby even if he said he will visit often I know he is not financially well to be able too.

Am I wrong to want him to stay with me so I can afford to live for the next year but I also want my baby to have her father. Am I also wrong to wish deep down when she is born he will change his mind and want to stay with me but then am I the stupid one to take him back. I know that only me being hopeful and wanting him to love me again like he use to but deep down that’s what I want and have a hard time thinking any differently.

Last edited by JP2022 (October 9, 2022 10:08 am)