I'm so sorry you've gone through all this.  Can I ask, how old is your baby now?  Do you have custody?

Sorry to read your all too familiar story.  I hope you have help from family, friends.  I thought I should give this link   https://www.transwidowsvoices.org/  This is one of a few places where I read stories like yours and mine.  What you wrote here is already very comprehensive and well-written.  

Wow. That is very intense and I don't have any advice for you but to keep fighting for your child. And Prayers. Lots and lots of prayers sent your way, Momma. I don't know how I would handle or feel in this situation so I cannot offer up advice. And I'm sorry that other groups have treated you that way. More than that, I'm sorry that you have gone through all of this. 

***UPDATE***

Our final was delayed. My ex lost his attorney due to communication issues. Honestly, I think he withdrew because he realized what he was dealing with. My attorney managed to push him into settling. Why? Money. Basically, if ex didn't settle he would have paid about eight grand. 

I've been talking to a ton of survivors of domestic abuse. I know I am dealing with a psycho narcissist. The pattern, the behavior it all fits. The geographic restriction was lifted and I moved with our child over a thousand miles away. I'm still trying to tell my experiences but he and his friends have been stalking me and my social media accounts. I don't know how they found me, I don't use video, FB is private, I don't use identifying details. The only way ex could have figured it out is to hear the details of the abuse at his hands and recognize it. 

I ended up getting help for our child. She went through two different types of speech therapy for awhile. When we moved here in September she suddenly started talking, a lot, and I love it. She's still very confused about gender. She's almost three and has no idea what a boy is or a girl is. I wouldn't expect her to know that yet. She's an only child, she's not even three yet... 

Ex has sent over three welfare checks. His language is now straight out insulting me and threatening me. Before he would elude to wanting to have sole custody now he says, "I don't want my child around you." I am in the process of filing a restraining order. It's difficult because I have to rehash all of the abuse and the harassment all over again... Hearing his voice makes my stomach turn... 

Ex has now convinced our child that she has "two momma's." Even though she picked the titles "Mom, Mommy," for me. He took her for Christmas vacation and I thought I might not get her back. During this time I asked for a video chat. He obliged but it was terrible,
"Hi mommy!" Says our daughter, then she puts her hands up in the air and says, "Where's Mommy?" Ex's reaction was to interrupt and say, "I'm momma, I'm right here." Then he made sure to talk about all the gifts she got and that she's just really tired. No, you confused her she didn't want to participate afterward.

I was part of a support group for SA survivors. Because... Ex did, several times. This was my third time attending and I thought I was safe enough to mention the issues of his transition. Nope. I get an email the next day asking if I could talk to the person running it. She says, "I don't have to respect him but I have to respect his pronouns or it could trigger someone." Whut!? Seriously!? This man did so much to me is trying to replace me as her mother and you want me to what? No. I was nice about it and said I was ending the call. I will not be going back. 

There is a massive difference between someone with an actual mental illness/condition and someone who is using it for drama, clout, and attention. Give him a year or so and he'll be talking about his "de-transition." It's been almost two years and he says he started taking blockers three months after I left. What a lie. Nothing physical has changed at all. He still looked like a man in bad drag with a deep throaty voice. Often he doesn't even try to pass. 
I asked him if he would be paying any of his child support responsibilities and he told me, "I am a stay at home wife now. My name has changed. You only got child support from the good graces of my husband. My husband won't be sending you child support until I see my child on video at least once a week. No, I didn't remind him why I stopped doing video. I didn't remind him that it's not in our final. I did remind him of his right to use a visitation every month and he hasn't. His response was that it was economically feasible. 

I then asked him if he had legally changed his name and he said, "You don't need to know." Yes, yes I do. Specially, if he intends to pick up our child for spring break. 

To be honest, if it didn't impact our child if he just went away after we escaped... I wouldn't give one fig about him claiming to be transgender. 

I feel alone... I feel lost. He's allowed to call me all sorts of names and to treat me like I am somehow a surrogate rather than her mother... He constantly says that I am keeping her from him and I'm not. He constantly reminds me that he is now a woman and I don't freaking care! Go, be a "woman," just leave me and our child out of it because you can't do it in a healthy way. 

I'm ranting, I know. I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of not being able to tell my experiences, not live peacefully, I am tired of being called transphobic for not respecting an abusive man's pronouns. I'm tired of the anxiety attacks, the nightmares, the PTSD, dealing with a corrupt court system that doesn't give a rats a** about domestic violence victims. He doesn't care what he does or that it will impact our child for the rest of her life. 

If you've made it this far... Thanks for reading...